Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Communicate with Diplomacy and Tact

The way in which we communicate can elicit positive or negative emotions. If we communicate aggressively, without respect or sensitivity, defensive or angry emotions can prevent others from hearing the message we are trying to convey. Communicating with diplomacy and tact is an approach that combines strength and sensitivity and keeps negative emotions at bay.

The Six Rules for Disagreeing Agreeably

Rule #1: Give others the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the person who made that outrageous generalization isn't really insensitive. Maybe this person has had a painful experience that made him overreact.

Rule #2: After giving someone the benefit of the doubt, listen to learn and truly understand why this person holds this belief. We must let him/her know we've heard them and we are genuinely trying to see things from their perspective.

Rule #3: Always take responsibility for our own feelings, when disagreeing with someone. Make a commitment to respond using "I" statements only. When we begin with "you" we come off as blaming and confrontational and immediately put the other person on the defensive. This reduces the chance of our point of view being heard.

Rule #4: Use a cushion. Connect or "cushion" a different opinion, starting with "I hear what you're saying" Or "I appreciate your view on". Again, begin with the word "I" and not "You said..." or it will sound confrontational.

Rule #5: Eliminate the words "but" or "however" from our vocabulary. Once we have cushioned the other person's opinion, use "and," or pause and say nothing, following the cushion. Acknowledging the individual's point of view and following it with a "but" or "however" erases the acknowledgement.

Rule #6: State our point of view or opinion with relevant and factual evidence. Keep our emotions out of the equation by using the following formula:

Take time to reflect:
  • What do I think?
  • Why do I think it?
  • What evidence do I have?
Then speak:
  • "One example is"
  • "This shows that"
  • "Therefore, I think"

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

“Attitude Control” to Reduce Stress

Opportunity for new work habits concerns your attitude control. When you get your work attitudes under control, every other aspect of your work improves. Try to implement these attitude-control concepts to streamline your work habits.

Connect with Coworkers and Use Their Names
It's easy to become so self-focused in a workday that you start to tune out your coworkers. This can add to a feeling of isolation and stress at work. It is better from a stress standpoint to reach out and greet others, learn their names, and maybe even win friends in the process.

Let Things Go
There comes a time when you recognize that the best solution is to relax and accept that you can't have everything turn out perfectly every time. If you feel like you are experiencing too much stress in a situation, ask yourself, "Is this a situation where I should just let go?" or "Does this need to be perfect?" The answer may surprise you.

Take Charge
Your attitudes improve when you take charge of situations and accomplish a goal. At the very least, you can take charge of your own workload, relationships, and attitude. When you hesitate or procrastinate, you undermine your energy and make your work more stressful than it has to be.

Stay Calm
Whatever it takes - counting to 10, taking deep breaths, going for a walk, or doing a quick meditation, concentrate on staying calm. Avoid overreacting, lashing out, or acting impulsively, which only adds to your stress level.

Appreciate the Uniqueness in Others
As much as you sometimes feel that way, you really would not like it if everyone was just like you at the workplace. It would be boring. Differences in backgrounds, perspectives, and work styles make the workplace more interesting and vibrant, not less. Work on appreciating the unique strengths of others and the richness they bring to your life.