6 Rules for Communicating with Diplomacy and Tact

How to Communicate With Diplomacy and Tact

We have all been awed by a Manager or a Team Member who always seems to know what to say and how to say it in any situation. These people know how to communicate with diplomacy, tact and confidence.

The way in which we communicate can elicit positive or negative emotions. If we communicate aggressively, without respect or sensitivity, defensive or angry emotions can prevent others from hearing the message we are trying to convey. Communicating with diplomacy and tact is an approach that combines strength and sensitivity and keeps negative emotions at bay. 

The Six Rules for Disagreeing Agreeably

Rule #1: Give others the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the person who made that outrageous generalization isn’t really insensitive. Maybe this person has had a painful experience that made him overreact.

Rule #2: After giving someone the benefit of the doubt, listen to learn and truly understand why this person holds this belief. We must let him/her know we’ve heard them and we are genuinely trying to see things from their perspective.

Rule #3: Always take responsibility for our own feelings, when disagreeing with someone. Make a commitment to respond using “I” statements only. When we begin with “you” we come off as blaming and confrontational and immediately put the other person on the defensive. This reduces the chance of our point of view being heard.

Rule #4: Use a cushion. Connect or “cushion” a different opinion, starting with “I hear what you’re saying” Or “I appreciate your view on”. Again, begin with the word “I” and not “You said…” or it will sound confrontational.

Rule #5: Eliminate the words “but” or “however” from our vocabulary. Once we have cushioned the other person’s opinion, use “and,” or pause and say nothing, following the cushion. Acknowledging the individual’s point of view and following it with a “but” or “however” erases the acknowledgement.

Rule #6: State our point of view or opinion with relevant and factual evidence. Keep our emotions out of the equation by using the following formula:

Take time to reflect:
What do I think?
Why do I think it?
What evidence do I have?

Then speak:
“One example is”
“This shows that”
“Therefore, I think”

Control Your Stress in the Workplace

Pressure situations are present during both good and bad economic times. However, when times are tough the situations can be magnified. Problems at home can directly influence issues in the workplace. It is important as a manager to recognize that your team might have outside stressors affecting their job performance. It is your job to create an environment that reduces stress and promotes engagement. In a workplace environment like this, employees will be more apt to reach their full potential and drive results. Here are 8 tips to help you and your team control stress and worry in tough situations:

1. Live in a compartment of the present.

The professional with a commitment to service seals off each interaction with a customer so that negative experiences don't poison future interactions. Don't allow past successes or failures or future anticipated success or difficulties influence your current performance. When it comes to customer service, live in the moment.

2. Don't fuss about trifles.

A "trifle" is something that is insignificant in comparison to other things in your life. When you focus on trifles, you lose perspective. Keep the big picture in mind. Doing so will help you objectively sort out the small stuff from the important issues.

3. Cooperate with the inevitable.

Realize when your situation is inevitable. If you can learn to recognize situations where you have no control, you can gain some control over the emotional aspects of the situation. By cooperating with the outcome, you are making a conscious choice about how to respond to an inevitable situation.

4. Decide just how much anxiety a situation is worth and refuse to give it any more of your energy.

Once you make this decision, it is easier to find ways you can improve on the situation or let it go and move on.

5. Create happiness for others.

This principle appeals to your nobler motives. It is difficult to sustain a negative attitude when you are doing something good or helpful for someone else. Simply put: Doing good for others makes you feel better.

6. Expect ingratitude.

In your job, you provide many diverse services. When you do so, you probably expect in return some signal of gratitude for your assistance. This expectation is rarely met. If you do receive heartfelt thanks from someone, you should count yourself lucky; you are dealing with a grateful person. Most people are simply not accustomed to being grateful, even when you provide them with excellent service. You shouldn't let ingratitude deter you from providing top-quality service.

7. Put enthusiasm into your work.

Enthusiasm is the positive energy and sustained effort that keeps you driving toward your goals. Making a decision to have a positive outlook can be critical in enjoying your job and working with your internal and external customers.

8. Do the very best you can.

It can be difficult to deal with criticism, especially if you feel it is undeserved or if it hurts your self-esteem. One way to put criticism in perspective is to ask yourself if you are doing the very best you can with what you know and are able to do. If you are, then you can avoid taking the criticism personally. If there is room for improvement in your performance, you can look at the criticism objectively and take responsibility for improving your performance.