Monday, June 14, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Seven Types of Listeners and Tips to Better Listening Skills
Exceptional listening skills and the ability to persuade others to your way of thinking make the difference between good and great teams. Pure listening builds trust, credibility and respect. One reason is because when you fully listen, instead of trying to compose your response, the result is a relevant and on-target response. What you say is proof of how well you listen.
The “Preoccupieds”
These people come across as rushed and are constantly looking around or doing something else. Also know as multi-taskers, these people cannot sit still and listen.
Tips
If you are a “Preoccupied” listener, make a point to set aside what you are doing when someone is speaking to you.
If you are speaking to a “Preoccupied” listener, you might ask, “Is this a good time?” or say, “I nned your undivided attention for just a moment.” Begin with a statement that will get their attention, be brief, and get to the bottom line quickly because their attention span is short.
The “Out-to-Lunchers”
These people are physically there for you, but mentally they are not. You can tell this by the blank look on their faces. They are either daydreaming or thinking about everything and anything else but what you are saying.
Tips
If you are an “Out-to-Luncher”, act like a good listener. Be alert, maintain eye contact, lean forward, and show interest by asking questions.
If you are speaking to an “Out-to-Luncher”, check in with them every now and again and ask if they understood what you were saying. As with the “Preoccupieds,” begin with a statement that will catch their attention, and be concise and to the point because their attention span is short.
The “Interrupters”
These people are ready to chime in at any given time. They are perched and ready for a break to complete your sentence for you. They are not listening to you but focused instead on what they want to say.
Tips
If you are a “Interrupter”, make a point to apologize every time you catch yourself interrupting. This will make you more conscious of it.
If you are speaking to an “Interrupter”, when they chime in, stop immediately and let them talk, or they will never listen to you. When they are done, you might say, “As I was saying before…” to bring their interruption to their attention.
The “Whatevers”
These people remain aloof and show little emotion when listening. They give off the impression that they could not care less what you are talking about.
Tips
If you are a “Whatever”, concentrate on the full message, not just the verbal message. Make a point to listen with your eyes, ears, and heart.
If you are speaking to a “Whatever”, dramatize your ideas and ask questions of the person to get his or her involvement.
The “Combatives”
These people are armed and ready for war. They enjoy disagreeing and blaming others.
Tips
If you are a “Combative”, make an effort to put yourself in the speaker’s shoes and understand, accept, and find merit in his or her point of view.
If you are speaking to a “Combative”, when he or she disagrees or points the blame, look forward instead of back. Talk about how you might agree to disagree, or what can be done differently next time.
The “Analysts”
These people are constantly in the role of counselor or therapist and they are ready to provide you with answers even when you have not asked. They think they are great listeners and love to help. They are constantly in an analyze-what-you-are-saying-and-fix-it mode.
Tips
If you are an “Analyst”, relax and understand that not everyone is looking for an answer, solution, or advice. Some people just like bouncing ideas off other to help them see the answers more clearly themselves.
If you are speaking to an “Analyst”, you might begin by saying “I just need to run something by you. I’m not looking for any advice.”
The “Engagers”
These are the consciously aware listeners. They listen with their eyes, ears, and hearts, and try to put themselves in the speaker’s shoes. This is listening at the highest level. Their listening skills encourage you to continue talking and give you the opportunity to discover your own solutions and let your ideas unfold.
Tips
If you are an “Engager” keep it up. People truly appreciate this about you.
If you are speaking to an “Engager” take the time to acknowledge their attentiveness. Thank them for their interest in you and your topic.
The “Preoccupieds”
These people come across as rushed and are constantly looking around or doing something else. Also know as multi-taskers, these people cannot sit still and listen.
Tips
If you are a “Preoccupied” listener, make a point to set aside what you are doing when someone is speaking to you.
If you are speaking to a “Preoccupied” listener, you might ask, “Is this a good time?” or say, “I nned your undivided attention for just a moment.” Begin with a statement that will get their attention, be brief, and get to the bottom line quickly because their attention span is short.
The “Out-to-Lunchers”
These people are physically there for you, but mentally they are not. You can tell this by the blank look on their faces. They are either daydreaming or thinking about everything and anything else but what you are saying.
Tips
If you are an “Out-to-Luncher”, act like a good listener. Be alert, maintain eye contact, lean forward, and show interest by asking questions.
If you are speaking to an “Out-to-Luncher”, check in with them every now and again and ask if they understood what you were saying. As with the “Preoccupieds,” begin with a statement that will catch their attention, and be concise and to the point because their attention span is short.
The “Interrupters”
These people are ready to chime in at any given time. They are perched and ready for a break to complete your sentence for you. They are not listening to you but focused instead on what they want to say.
Tips
If you are a “Interrupter”, make a point to apologize every time you catch yourself interrupting. This will make you more conscious of it.
If you are speaking to an “Interrupter”, when they chime in, stop immediately and let them talk, or they will never listen to you. When they are done, you might say, “As I was saying before…” to bring their interruption to their attention.
The “Whatevers”
These people remain aloof and show little emotion when listening. They give off the impression that they could not care less what you are talking about.
Tips
If you are a “Whatever”, concentrate on the full message, not just the verbal message. Make a point to listen with your eyes, ears, and heart.
If you are speaking to a “Whatever”, dramatize your ideas and ask questions of the person to get his or her involvement.
The “Combatives”
These people are armed and ready for war. They enjoy disagreeing and blaming others.
Tips
If you are a “Combative”, make an effort to put yourself in the speaker’s shoes and understand, accept, and find merit in his or her point of view.
If you are speaking to a “Combative”, when he or she disagrees or points the blame, look forward instead of back. Talk about how you might agree to disagree, or what can be done differently next time.
The “Analysts”
These people are constantly in the role of counselor or therapist and they are ready to provide you with answers even when you have not asked. They think they are great listeners and love to help. They are constantly in an analyze-what-you-are-saying-and-fix-it mode.
Tips
If you are an “Analyst”, relax and understand that not everyone is looking for an answer, solution, or advice. Some people just like bouncing ideas off other to help them see the answers more clearly themselves.
If you are speaking to an “Analyst”, you might begin by saying “I just need to run something by you. I’m not looking for any advice.”
The “Engagers”
These are the consciously aware listeners. They listen with their eyes, ears, and hearts, and try to put themselves in the speaker’s shoes. This is listening at the highest level. Their listening skills encourage you to continue talking and give you the opportunity to discover your own solutions and let your ideas unfold.
Tips
If you are an “Engager” keep it up. People truly appreciate this about you.
If you are speaking to an “Engager” take the time to acknowledge their attentiveness. Thank them for their interest in you and your topic.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
“Warrior Transition Program” and Dale Carnegie - Fort Carson Colorado
We apologize but we are awaiting approval to post the video.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
12 Tips for Negotiating and Compromising with Difficult People
Negotiating is the process of attempting to agree on a solution. Compromising, or settling on a mutually agreeable solution, is the result of successful negotiations. Compromise is all about being flexible. It means being able to generate alternate solutions when you’ve “hit the wall.” Whether it involves a person you can’t get along with, an idea you know will work but that others are reluctant to agree to, a change in office systems, or a turf war that needs ending, learning to negotiate and compromise is essential to your success.
1. Have a positive attitude. - Your attitude is essential to the outcome. You have a much better chance of coming to an outcome involving mutual gains if you approach the negotiation as an opportunity to learn and achieve a win-win outcome.
2. Meet on mutual ground. - Find a mutually agreeable and convenient physical space to meet that is comfortable for all involved. Agree on when you will meet and how much time is available to devote to the process. Whenever possible, deal with negotiations face-to-face. Be careful about using the phone and e-mail. A lack of facial expressions, vocal intonation, and other cues can result in a negotiation breakdown.
3. Clearly define and agree on the issue. - Agree on the statement of the issue using simple and factual terms. If the situation is multifaceted, search for ways to slice the large issue into smaller pieces and deal with one issue at a time.
4. Do your homework. - Take time to plan. You must not only know what is at stake for yourself, but you need to know the other side’s concerns and motivation. Take into consideration any history or past situations that might affect the negotiations. Know the must-haves (nonnegotiable items) and nice-to-haves (negotiable items). Determine the best resolution, a fair and reasonable deal, and a minimally acceptable deal.
5. Take an honest inventory of yourself. - Determine the level of trust you have in the other person and the process. Be conscious of aspects of your personality that can help or hinder the process.
6. Look for shared interests. - Get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities. Since conflict tends to magnify perceived differences and minimize similarities, look for common goals, objectives, or even gripes that can illustrate that you are in this together. Focus on the future, talk about what is to be done, and tackle the problem jointly.
7. Deal with facts, not emotions. - Address problems, not personalities. Avoid any tendency to attack the other person or to pass judgment on his or her ideas and opinions. Avoid focusing on the past or blaming the other person. Maintain a rational, goal-oriented frame of mind. This will depersonalize the conflict, separate the issues from the people involved, and avoid defensiveness.
8. Be honest. - Don’t play games. Be honest and clear about what is important to you. It is equally important to be clear and to communicate why your goals, issues, and objectives are important to you.
9. Present alternatives and provide evidence. - Create options and alternatives that demonstrate your willingness to compromise. Consider conceding in areas that might have high value to the other person but are not that important to you. Frame options in terms of the other person’s interests and provide evidence for your point of view.
10. Be an expert communicator. - Nothing shows determination to find a mutually satisfactory resolution to conflict more than applying excellent communication skills. Ask questions, listen, rephrase what you heard to check for understanding, and take a genuine interest in the other side’s concerns. Reduce tension through humor, let the other “vent,” and acknowledge the other’s views. Focus less on your position and more on ways in which you can move toward a resolution or compromise.
11. End on a good note. - Develop a win-win proposal and check to make sure that everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have “won.” Shake on it and agree on the action steps, who is responsible for each step, how success will be measured, and how and when the decision will be evaluated. Be open to reaching an impasse for non-critical issues; you can agree to disagree on minor issues.
12. Enjoy the process. - Look at the benefits of learning other points of view. People report that after overcoming conflict and reaching an agreement, the relationship grew even stronger. Reflect and learn from each negotiation. Determine the criteria to evaluate the process and the solution.
1. Have a positive attitude. - Your attitude is essential to the outcome. You have a much better chance of coming to an outcome involving mutual gains if you approach the negotiation as an opportunity to learn and achieve a win-win outcome.
2. Meet on mutual ground. - Find a mutually agreeable and convenient physical space to meet that is comfortable for all involved. Agree on when you will meet and how much time is available to devote to the process. Whenever possible, deal with negotiations face-to-face. Be careful about using the phone and e-mail. A lack of facial expressions, vocal intonation, and other cues can result in a negotiation breakdown.
3. Clearly define and agree on the issue. - Agree on the statement of the issue using simple and factual terms. If the situation is multifaceted, search for ways to slice the large issue into smaller pieces and deal with one issue at a time.
4. Do your homework. - Take time to plan. You must not only know what is at stake for yourself, but you need to know the other side’s concerns and motivation. Take into consideration any history or past situations that might affect the negotiations. Know the must-haves (nonnegotiable items) and nice-to-haves (negotiable items). Determine the best resolution, a fair and reasonable deal, and a minimally acceptable deal.
5. Take an honest inventory of yourself. - Determine the level of trust you have in the other person and the process. Be conscious of aspects of your personality that can help or hinder the process.
6. Look for shared interests. - Get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities. Since conflict tends to magnify perceived differences and minimize similarities, look for common goals, objectives, or even gripes that can illustrate that you are in this together. Focus on the future, talk about what is to be done, and tackle the problem jointly.
7. Deal with facts, not emotions. - Address problems, not personalities. Avoid any tendency to attack the other person or to pass judgment on his or her ideas and opinions. Avoid focusing on the past or blaming the other person. Maintain a rational, goal-oriented frame of mind. This will depersonalize the conflict, separate the issues from the people involved, and avoid defensiveness.
8. Be honest. - Don’t play games. Be honest and clear about what is important to you. It is equally important to be clear and to communicate why your goals, issues, and objectives are important to you.
9. Present alternatives and provide evidence. - Create options and alternatives that demonstrate your willingness to compromise. Consider conceding in areas that might have high value to the other person but are not that important to you. Frame options in terms of the other person’s interests and provide evidence for your point of view.
10. Be an expert communicator. - Nothing shows determination to find a mutually satisfactory resolution to conflict more than applying excellent communication skills. Ask questions, listen, rephrase what you heard to check for understanding, and take a genuine interest in the other side’s concerns. Reduce tension through humor, let the other “vent,” and acknowledge the other’s views. Focus less on your position and more on ways in which you can move toward a resolution or compromise.
11. End on a good note. - Develop a win-win proposal and check to make sure that everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have “won.” Shake on it and agree on the action steps, who is responsible for each step, how success will be measured, and how and when the decision will be evaluated. Be open to reaching an impasse for non-critical issues; you can agree to disagree on minor issues.
12. Enjoy the process. - Look at the benefits of learning other points of view. People report that after overcoming conflict and reaching an agreement, the relationship grew even stronger. Reflect and learn from each negotiation. Determine the criteria to evaluate the process and the solution.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
The best salesman in business
Since then, more than 30 million people worldwide have been embellishing, bedecking, and otherwise disfiguring their copies of How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. Upon its release in February, an iPhone app loaded with videos, charts, and homilies immediately became the top-selling paid business app in the iTunes store (it just landed on the iPad as well), and a new edition of the book -- only the second since its original publication -- may be arriving in stores next year. Not that Dale's heirs need the money; HTWF is already the most successful business advice book in the history of the solar system. Originally published in 1936, it has been translated into 47 languages, including Hindi, Nepalese, and Telugu. Last year alone, the very fortunate Simon & Schuster, which has controlled the rights to HTWF since its birth, sold 300,000 copies -- hardcover, paperback, and audio -- just in the U.S. By comparison, Malcolm Gladwell is a parvenu.
Read more @ http://money.cnn.com/2010/04/29/news/economy/dale_carnegie.fortune/ or click on the title
Read more @ http://money.cnn.com/2010/04/29/news/economy/dale_carnegie.fortune/ or click on the title
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