6 Rules for Communicating with Diplomacy and Tact

How to Communicate With Diplomacy and Tact

We have all been awed by a Manager or a Team Member who always seems to know what to say and how to say it in any situation. These people know how to communicate with diplomacy, tact and confidence.

The way in which we communicate can elicit positive or negative emotions. If we communicate aggressively, without respect or sensitivity, defensive or angry emotions can prevent others from hearing the message we are trying to convey. Communicating with diplomacy and tact is an approach that combines strength and sensitivity and keeps negative emotions at bay. 

The Six Rules for Disagreeing Agreeably

Rule #1: Give others the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the person who made that outrageous generalization isn’t really insensitive. Maybe this person has had a painful experience that made him overreact.

Rule #2: After giving someone the benefit of the doubt, listen to learn and truly understand why this person holds this belief. We must let him/her know we’ve heard them and we are genuinely trying to see things from their perspective.

Rule #3: Always take responsibility for our own feelings, when disagreeing with someone. Make a commitment to respond using “I” statements only. When we begin with “you” we come off as blaming and confrontational and immediately put the other person on the defensive. This reduces the chance of our point of view being heard.

Rule #4: Use a cushion. Connect or “cushion” a different opinion, starting with “I hear what you’re saying” Or “I appreciate your view on”. Again, begin with the word “I” and not “You said…” or it will sound confrontational.

Rule #5: Eliminate the words “but” or “however” from our vocabulary. Once we have cushioned the other person’s opinion, use “and,” or pause and say nothing, following the cushion. Acknowledging the individual’s point of view and following it with a “but” or “however” erases the acknowledgement.

Rule #6: State our point of view or opinion with relevant and factual evidence. Keep our emotions out of the equation by using the following formula:

Take time to reflect:
What do I think?
Why do I think it?
What evidence do I have?

Then speak:
“One example is”
“This shows that”
“Therefore, I think”

Control Your Stress in the Workplace

Pressure situations are present during both good and bad economic times. However, when times are tough the situations can be magnified. Problems at home can directly influence issues in the workplace. It is important as a manager to recognize that your team might have outside stressors affecting their job performance. It is your job to create an environment that reduces stress and promotes engagement. In a workplace environment like this, employees will be more apt to reach their full potential and drive results. Here are 8 tips to help you and your team control stress and worry in tough situations:

1. Live in a compartment of the present.

The professional with a commitment to service seals off each interaction with a customer so that negative experiences don't poison future interactions. Don't allow past successes or failures or future anticipated success or difficulties influence your current performance. When it comes to customer service, live in the moment.

2. Don't fuss about trifles.

A "trifle" is something that is insignificant in comparison to other things in your life. When you focus on trifles, you lose perspective. Keep the big picture in mind. Doing so will help you objectively sort out the small stuff from the important issues.

3. Cooperate with the inevitable.

Realize when your situation is inevitable. If you can learn to recognize situations where you have no control, you can gain some control over the emotional aspects of the situation. By cooperating with the outcome, you are making a conscious choice about how to respond to an inevitable situation.

4. Decide just how much anxiety a situation is worth and refuse to give it any more of your energy.

Once you make this decision, it is easier to find ways you can improve on the situation or let it go and move on.

5. Create happiness for others.

This principle appeals to your nobler motives. It is difficult to sustain a negative attitude when you are doing something good or helpful for someone else. Simply put: Doing good for others makes you feel better.

6. Expect ingratitude.

In your job, you provide many diverse services. When you do so, you probably expect in return some signal of gratitude for your assistance. This expectation is rarely met. If you do receive heartfelt thanks from someone, you should count yourself lucky; you are dealing with a grateful person. Most people are simply not accustomed to being grateful, even when you provide them with excellent service. You shouldn't let ingratitude deter you from providing top-quality service.

7. Put enthusiasm into your work.

Enthusiasm is the positive energy and sustained effort that keeps you driving toward your goals. Making a decision to have a positive outlook can be critical in enjoying your job and working with your internal and external customers.

8. Do the very best you can.

It can be difficult to deal with criticism, especially if you feel it is undeserved or if it hurts your self-esteem. One way to put criticism in perspective is to ask yourself if you are doing the very best you can with what you know and are able to do. If you are, then you can avoid taking the criticism personally. If there is room for improvement in your performance, you can look at the criticism objectively and take responsibility for improving your performance.

Communicate for Action | trainingmag.com

Effective communication is a critical competency for organizational success.

 

By Kevin Sensenig, vice president and global brand champion, Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc.

 

Ask a group of employees about the challenges they face in their organization, and most often communication issues are close to the top of the list—even though there is no lack of information, strategies, tips, and training available on the subject. In fact, a recent Google Web search using the key words, “communication articles,” revealed 77.3 million hits. So why do organizations ... 

 

Communicate for Action | trainingmag.com

Staying on Top of the Change Process

Engaging workplace change can be an unpredictable experience because processes and people evolve in diverse ways as they undergo change. No two individuals will respond in exactly the same way to workplace changes. In the same way, identical changes implemented in multiple areas of an organization can produce distinctly different outcomes. These tips show you how to stay on top of the change engagement process by thoroughly preparing for it, while allowing for various outcomes. These tips allow you to take a structured approach to change management and still maintain flexibility.

Motivation for Change

Change begins at the point where the organization finds a motivation for change. Sometimes external issues drive the change like reorganizations, management changes, relocation's, or acquisitions/mergers. Other times, internal forces such as upgraded technology, expansions and growth, or continuous improvement drive the change.

Analyze the Situation

As the organization becomes progressively more motivated to change, leadership undertakes a thorough analysis of the risks and opportunities associated with the proposed change.

• What are the potential gains in undertaking the change?
• What are the costs?
• What are the risks of making the change?
• What are the risks of not making the change?

Plan the Direction

Once an organization determines that opportunities outweigh the risks of making the change, it develops a plan for change implementation. Many organizational change initiatives fail because of lack of careful, thorough planning. In this step, the stage is set for the ultimate success or failure of the change. Key elements of the plan must include:

• Planning for the impact of the change on individuals who will be most affected.
• Planning for the impact of the change on the systems within the organization that will be most affected.
• A step-by-step plan for integrating the change into the organization.
• A review plan to measure the success of the proposed change.

 

Implement the Change

Depending on the type and scope of the change, implementation within the organization may be gradual or abrupt. Changes such as layoffs or acquisitions often are implemented with little prior warning; while staffing, reorganization, or technology changes may be phased in over a period of time. The team’s most critical role in this step of the change process is to maintain open, honest lines of communication with each other.Define individual responsibilities.

• Define individual responsibilities.
• Announce and launch the change.
• Adhere to timetables.
• Promote the anticipated benefits of the change.

Review the Direction

Once the change has been implemented in the organization, you should monitor the outcomes of the new structure and system. As team members in a changing work environment, you can’t assume that the change will evolve exactly as planned or that every individual affected by the change will react as anticipated. Your role is to observe review checkpoints that will reveal whether the change is working as anticipated and is producing the desired results.

• Establish ways of measuring results.
• Communicate criteria for successful change outcomes.
• Coordinate the gathering and measuring of change effects.
• Inform key team members consistently during the review process.

Adopt

When you have reviewed the change implementation and found it to be succeeding as planned, the organization adopts the change and it becomes part of the new organizational norm. The review process is not terminated, but it transitions to the ongoing monitoring of the changed systems and relationships within the organization.

• How well is the change meeting planned outcomes?
• How well have you adjusted to the new status quo?
• What aspects of the change have not met expectations?
• What is your role in making those aspects more successful?

Adjust

If the review process concluded that the change is not working as planned, you should adjust the change implementation. Assuming that the organization executed the change analysis and plan accurately, you should be able to adjust the implementation of the organizational change to achieve your desired results.

• Determine where the outcomes are falling short of your plan.
• Engage key individuals in determining adjustments that need to be made.
• Keep the lines of communication open with everyone involved.
• Make adjustments to the review process and to the change implementation.

Proper Project Planning = Direction and Perfection

The ability to plan projects, both large and small, simple and complicated, is essential in today’s business environment. Without the tools to do so, people tend to flounder, “wing it,” or wander off course, resulting in delayed success, missed deadlines, or failure. Read on to learn about the steps you can take to plan a successful project.

Step 1: “Should-Be”

Clarify the project scope and be sure that the scope is aligned with senior management’s initiatives. The “should be” is a picture of what you ultimately want and who and how this result will benefit all involved. Your team and senior management should work together to ensure you agree on objectives. If you have not done a good job of defining scope, it will be nearly impossible to plan the project.

Step 2: “As-Is”

This is the reality of the current situation. Where are you today? What factors help and hinder your efforts to carry out the project’s scope?

Step 3: Goals

Define and set realistic goals to successfully carry out the scope of the project. Without such goals, you and your team will drift. Goals can be immediate, intermediate, and long-range. Achieving day-to-day goals (immediate goals) contributes to the achievement of intermediate and long-range goals. Develop SMART goals:

  S - Specific processes and resources

  M - Measurable by objective data

  A - Attainable

  R - Relevant to your vision

  T - Time-specific deadline

Step 4: Action Steps

To achieve your goals, you must establish specific priorities so that you can develop specific action steps. To achieve your goals, your action steps should include:

• Job requirements
• Who will do the job
• Methods to be used
• How the different parts tie together and fit into the big picture
• How the results will be communicated (report, PowerPoint, etc.)

Step 5: Cost

Another aspect to planning is determining the budget for and cost of each action step. Costs include:

• Personnel
• Materials
• Time
• Opportunity cost (what must be given up to pursue a given action)

Step 6: Timetables

Set and communicate deadlines so there is a clear understanding and so that immediate, intermediate, and long-term targets can be met. When establishing timetables, be realistic. Work backwards to determine when each phase should be completed, and put the schedule in writing to avoid misunderstandings.

Step 7: Implementation

An important, yet overlooked, part of implementing a plan is making sure that all involved understand their role in achieving the established goals. Obtain the team’s commitment to agreed-upon results. As you monitor the implementation, you may need to modify the scope of the plan and reevaluate your goals.

Step 8: Follow Up/Measurement

A critical part of the planning process is to keep accurate records, analyze why deviations have occurred, and take action to correct any challenges. Concentrate on those factors critical to reaching the goal.

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Two-Way Communication: Feedback

Anytime a person speaks or acts, there is an opportunity to give feedback. We show we are listening and that the speaker's contributions are important by providing feedback. The ultimate objective of feedback is to strengthen progress toward objectives. Whether it is responding to a request or coaching an employee through a learning process, feedback is important in generating the results that we need to be successful in the workplace. This can be achieved by providing genuine constructive or encouraging feedback to the recipient.

Recognize a strength - Identify a positive that you see with an employee. Then let that employee know why that strength is important and relevant. This will encourage your employee and reassure them that they are making real progress towards their objectives.

Keep it brief - Try to keep your feedback to 10 to 20 seconds or less. Being short and concise will allow your message to be more powerful. You will have your employee's complete attention during this time, and you do not need to water your feedback down with a long-winded response.

Focus on the person and not yourself - Remember, you are trying to build confidence within your employee. It is important to shine the light on the person you are giving the feedback to and not on yourself.

Get the group to respond - When possible, provide opportunities for a group to encourage its members. Hearing from a peer will help boost an employee's confidence.

Ensure the response is person-centered - Try not to reiterate what the person already said or did. Instead you want to highlight a strength and relate that strength or quality to the person's real world.

How to Encourage Your Team Members to Stand Up and Lead

To win in today's market, team members have to step up and be ready to take a leadership role. It is not easy to develop leadership skills in others. It's very important to also understand that some people do not share your goals and aspirations. Keep an open mind and learn to use different techniques to inspire different team members to stand up and lead.

1. Challenge — Issue a challenge. (In today's market environment, you probably have many challenges to issue!) Some people need a specific challenge to motivate them. By laying down a challenge, you also create a very clear and measurable goal for a staff member to achieve.

2. Appeal to noble motives — Many employees think that their work does not make a difference. By appealing to a team's noble motives, you can increase morale while also setting higher standards for your staff members.

3. Be sympathetic — Never tell someone that they are wrong. Even when you disagree, listen and be empathetic to another person's ideas and desires.

4. Evidence — Back up your ideas with proof. By providing evidence, you can give instant credibility to your ideas. If you have evidence, even staff members who have a different perspective will take notice.

5. Listen — Listen to what your staff members have to say. Some employees may not want to reach top corporate positions; instead, they may simply be content if their opinions and ideas are valued.

6. Ask questions — Instead of giving direct orders, ask questions to guide your staff members to think through the issues and come up with their own solutions.

7. Value your staff — Make your staff members feel genuinely important. Faced with the market challenges today, your employees must be reassured that their contribution and leadership DOES have a huge impact on the company's survival, stability, and growth.

How Good are You at Setting Goals?

Setting goals is vital to accomplishing both your daily and long-term agendas. By directing your attention to a specific area, you are able to use different strategies to get the results you want.

Goal setting is a key component in leadership, team-building, and overall professional productiveness. This assessment will find your strengths and weaknesses in setting goals. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses will help you establish a more effective way to set and achieve your goals. 

Go here to take the Dale Carnegie Quiz

Six Steps to Writing a Thank You Note – Holiday Edition

Writing a sincere thank you note is one of the professional skills that can make a lasting favorable impression. People like being appreciated. One of Dale Carnegie’s fundamental human relation principles is “Give honest, sincere appreciation.” When writing a thank you note, use a plain, small card. However, the card is not as important as the effort, so if paper is all that is available, write the note anyway! Use this 6-step formula as a sure-fire method of expressing appreciation in a written note.

1. Greet the Giver: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith OR Dear Jamie. It seems like an obvious point, yet many people will begin a note with “Hi” or even omit the greeting.

2. Express Gratitude: Thank you so much for the book. The key is to keep it simple and specific. The point of writing the note is to create an expression of a heartfelt sentiment.

3. Discuss Use: I started to read the book immediately and have found many great ideas already. People like to know that you found their gesture or gift valuable. Sharing how you are using the item or idea makes their effort more meaningful.

4. Another Thank You: Thank them again for the gift. It’s not excessive to say thanks again.

5. Complimentary Close: Wrap it up with a close that expresses your final thought: Regards, All the Best, Sincerely, Gratefully, etc. Then sign your name.

6. Send It: Even if your colleagues and acquaintances are not of the note-writing variety, be the one who sets the precedent.

It is the mark of a true professional to become skilled at writing thank you notes in this age of email, voicemail, and text messaging.

Demonstrating business professionalism is not difficult; it just takes effort and focus. Applying simple aspects of business etiquette goes a long way in establishing our professionalism, which builds our confidence and comfort in business settings.