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Building Trust Through Conflict

Ironically, you have an opportunity to take a relationship to a higher level of trust after a conflict situation.  Think of a time when your car had to be returned to the dealer for repair.  You may have been frustrated and annoyed by the situation.  If the auto dealer handled the situation successfully, we will choose that dealer over another in the future.  You trust that they will come through, even if there is an issue.  In order to rise to that level of trust in conflict situations, you must be able to:

Adapt

Nothing is more irritating than being in conflict with another person who is rigidly adhering to their set of rules and unwilling to adapt to the particular situation.  Be willing to look at the situation objectively and let go of resentment, bias, and inflexible thinking.

Keep the Relationship Warm

Just because you are coming from opposite viewpoints, you don’t have to treat each other coldly or rudely.  That only deepens the resentment in the conflict situation.  Try to continue to connect on a human level with the other person.

Listen to Values

Sometimes a conflict situation gets bogged down in petty details.  If you can focus on the values of the other person and look for shared values, you can often find a way to resolve the conflict. 

Act on What You Hear

If another person has an issue with you and feels strongly enough about it to express it, it is your responsibility as a professional to act on that communication.  You show your good faith in trying to bring the conflict to a mutually acceptable resolution.

Follow Up

You can’t simply walk away from a conflict situation and expect that everything is resolved.  People need time to cool off and process solutions.  Follow up with the other person and check to see that you have moved beyond the conflict in your relationship.

Be Willing to Change Yourself

How can you expect other to change if you can’t change yourself?  Someone once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results.  To put the conflict behind you permanently, you have to demonstrate that you are doing your best to change.

"Person to Person": Warren Buffett

(CBS News) 
Warren Buffett is one of the richest men in the world. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns or has a stake in over 70 businesses such as Coca Cola, IBM, and American Express. But this is no ordinary billionaire. He's giving 99 percent of his wealth to charity and he thinks rich people should pay higher taxes. 

"Person to Person" take you to where Buffett's mega deals are done. His private office in Omaha, Neb., is as unconventional as the man himself. 


 Go here for the story

Participating in Teams during Change

One way you can contribute to your team during change is to keep your attitudes positive and focused. These principles give you direction in keeping your attitude centered on team success.

Support each other
During periods of change, you sometimes feel like you are on a tightrope without a net. Even though other members of the team may be experiencing the same change, you tend to feel isolated and alone during organizational change. Make a commitment to express support to everyone else on the team, and let them know that the whole team is in this effort together. If you give unconditional support to your fellow team members, you will receive support in return.

Communicate expectations
The best way to break out of isolation is to communicate openly, honestly, and often. What are your expectations of each other as a team? What are your expectations of the team effort and the results that you can produce? Commit to discussing these expectations and applying the highest levels of listening to one another. In this way, all members of the team can unite in a common purpose.

Have fun
Let's face it. Sometimes you take yourself a little too seriously. Sure, you are engaged in serious, demanding team efforts during periods of organizational change, but teamwork at its highest level is fast-paced, engaging, and fun. Many of us feel that the most exciting and rewarding efforts in our work are team efforts. Let's make a commitment to make teamwork during change enjoyable and fun, rather than dreary and dull.

Find efficiencies
One of the advantages of working on a team is that you can capitalize on the individual strengths of your team members. You don't have to do everything or even know everything when you are on a team. Focus on utilizing individual team members' skills, experience, and abilities to achieve a high level of team efficiency and accomplishment.

Build competitive team spirit
You can take tremendous pride in being a member of high-achieving teams. As you set and achieve goals, why not compete with each other and push each other and the team to an ever-higher level of performance? When you tap into your competitive spirit, you unite as a team and reach higher levels of success.

Think big
Maybe the changes that you are undergoing as a team will be the best thing that ever happened to each of you. Maybe you will come through the change so successfully that you will achieve team recognition. Instead of viewing yourselves as merely surviving the change, think big and imagine the organizational change as a springboard to greater individual and team success.

Six Steps to Writing a Thank You Note – Holiday Edition

Writing a sincere thank you note is one of the professional skills that can make a lasting favorable impression. People like being appreciated. One of Dale Carnegie’s fundamental human relation principles is “Give honest, sincere appreciation.” When writing a thank you note, use a plain, small card. However, the card is not as important as the effort, so if paper is all that is available, write the note anyway! Use this 6-step formula as a sure-fire method of expressing appreciation in a written note.

1. Greet the Giver: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith OR Dear Jamie. It seems like an obvious point, yet many people will begin a note with “Hi” or even omit the greeting.

2. Express Gratitude: Thank you so much for the book. The key is to keep it simple and specific. The point of writing the note is to create an expression of a heartfelt sentiment.

3. Discuss Use: I started to read the book immediately and have found many great ideas already. People like to know that you found their gesture or gift valuable. Sharing how you are using the item or idea makes their effort more meaningful.

4. Another Thank You: Thank them again for the gift. It’s not excessive to say thanks again.

5. Complimentary Close: Wrap it up with a close that expresses your final thought: Regards, All the Best, Sincerely, Gratefully, etc. Then sign your name.

6. Send It: Even if your colleagues and acquaintances are not of the note-writing variety, be the one who sets the precedent.

It is the mark of a true professional to become skilled at writing thank you notes in this age of email, voicemail, and text messaging.

Demonstrating business professionalism is not difficult; it just takes effort and focus. Applying simple aspects of business etiquette goes a long way in establishing our professionalism, which builds our confidence and comfort in business settings.

Twelve Tips to All-Win Negotiations

Negotiating is the process of attempting to agree on a solution. Compromising, or settling on a mutually agreeable solution, is the result of successful negotiations. Compromise is all about being flexible. It means being able to generate alternate solutions when you've "hit the wall." Whether it involves a person you can't get along with, an idea you know will work but that others are reluctant to embrace, a change in office systems, or a turf war that needs ending, learning to negotiate and compromise is essential to your success.

1) Have a positive attitude.

Your attitude is essential to the outcome. You improve your chance of achieving a mutually rewarding solution if you approach the negotiation as an opportunity to learn and achieve an all-win outcome.

2) Meet on mutual ground.

Find a mutually agreeable and convenient physical space to meet that is comfortable for all involved. Agree on when you will meet and how much time is available to devote to the process. Whenever possible, deal with negotiations face-to-face. Be careful about negotiating over the phone or in e-mail. A lack of facial expressions, vocal intonation, and other cues can result in a negotiation breakdown.

3) Clearly define and agree on the issue.

Agree on a statement of the issue using simple and factual terms. If the situation is multifaceted, search for ways to slice the large issue into smaller pieces and deal with one issue at a time.

4) Do your homework.

Take time to plan. You must not only know what is at stake for yourself, but you need to know the other side's concerns and motivation. Take into consideration any history or past situations that might affect the negotiations. Know the must-haves (non-negotiable items) and nice-to-haves (negotiable items). Determine the best resolution, a fair and reasonable compromise, and a minimally acceptable deal.

5) Take an honest inventory of yourself.

Determine your level of trust in the other person and the process. Be conscious of aspects of your personality that can help or hinder the process.

6) Look for shared interests.

Get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities. Since conflict tends to magnify perceived differences and minimize similarities, look for common goals, objectives, or even gripes that can illustrate that you are in this together. Focus on the future, talk about what needs to be done, and tackle the problem jointly.

7) Deal with facts, not emotions.

Address problems, not personalities. Avoid any tendency to attack the other person or to pass judgment on his or her ideas and opinions. Avoid focusing on the past or blaming the other person. Maintain a rational, goal-oriented frame of mind. This will depersonalize the conflict, separate the issues from the people involved, and avoid defensiveness.

8) Be honest.

Don't play games. Be honest and clear about what is important to you and communicate why your goals, issues, and objectives are important to you.

9) Present alternatives and provide evidence.

Create options and alternatives that demonstrate willingness to compromise. Consider conceding in areas that might have high value to the other person but are not that important to you. Frame options in terms of the other person's interests and provide evidence for your point of view.

10) Be an expert communicator.

Nothing shows determination to find a mutually satisfactory resolution to conflict more than applying excellent communication skills. Ask questions, listen, rephrase what you heard to check for understanding, and take a genuine interest in the other side's concerns. Reduce tension through humor, let others vent their concerns, and acknowledge their views. Focus less on your position and more on ways in which you can move toward a resolution or compromise.

11) End on a good note.

Make an all-win proposal and check to make sure that everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have won. Shake on it and agree on the action steps: who is responsible for each step, how success will be measured, and how and when the decision will be evaluated. Be open to accepting an impasse for noncritical issues; agree to disagree.

12) Enjoy the process.

Look at the benefits of learning other people's point of view. People report that after overcoming conflict and reaching an agreement, the relationship grew even stronger. Reflect and learn from each negotiation. Determine the criteria to evaluate the process and the solution.

How to Tweet Like Dale Carnegie

From US NEWS AND WORLD REPORT. November 1 2011

Dale Carnegie, the esteemed self-improvement guru of the last century, might never have sent a Tweet or started a Facebook page. But in the updated version of his bestseller, How to Win Friends & Influence People, he (and his co-writers) explain how he would do so, were he alive today.

http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/alpha-consumer/2011/11/01/how-to-tweet-like-dale-carnegie

The Change Process

Engaging in workplace change can be an unpredictable experience because processes and people evolve in diverse ways as they undergo change. No two individuals will respond in exactly the same way to workplace changes. In the same way, identical changes implemented in multiple areas of an organization produce distinctly different outcomes.

This Change Model shows how we can stay on top of the change engagement process by thoroughly preparing for it while allowing for various outcomes. This model allows us to take a structured approach to organizational change and still maintain flexibility.

1. Locate the Motivation for Change

The Change Model begins at the point where the organization finds a motivation for change. Sometimes external issues drive the change, like reorganizations, management changes, relocation's, or acquisitions/mergers. Other times, internal forces drive the change, such as upgraded technology, expansions and growth, or continuous improvement.

2. Analyze the Situation

As the organization becomes progressively more motivated to change, leadership undertakes a thorough analysis of the risks and opportunities associated with the proposed change.

• What are the potential gains in undertaking the change?
• What are the costs?
• What are the risks of making the change?
• What are the risks of not making the change?

3. Plan the Direction

Once the leadership determines that opportunities outweigh the risks of making the change, a plan is developed for change implementation. Many organizational change initiatives fail because of lack of careful, thorough planning. In this step of the model, the stage is set for the change's ultimate success or failure. Key elements of the plan must include:

• Planning for the impact of the change on individuals who will be most affected.
• Planning for the impact of the change on the systems within the organization that will be most affected.
• A step-by-step plan for integrating the change into the organization.
• A review plan to measure the success of the proposed change.

4. Implement the Change

Depending on the type and scope of the change, implementation within the organization may be gradual or abrupt. Changes such as layoffs or acquisitions often are implemented with little prior warning, while staffing, reorganization, or technology changes may be phased in over a period of time. The team's most critical role in this step of the change process is to maintain open, honest lines of communication with each other.

• Define individual responsibilities.
• Announce and launch the change.
• Adhere to timetables.
• Promote the anticipated benefits of the change. 

5. Review the Direction

Once change has been implemented, monitor the outcomes of the new structure and system. As team members in a changing work environment, you can't assume that the change will evolve exactly as planned or that every individual affected by the change will react as anticipated. Your role is to observe review checkpoints that will reveal if the change is working as anticipated and is producing the desired results.

• Establish ways of measuring results.
• Communicate criteria for successful change outcomes.
• Coordinate the gathering and measuring of change effects.
• Inform key team members consistently during the review process. 

6. Adopt the Change

When you review the change implementation and find it to be succeeding as planned, the change is adopted and becomes part of the new organizational norm. The review process is not terminated; instead, it transitions into ongoing monitoring of the changed systems and relationships within the organization.

• How well is the change meeting planned outcomes?
• How well have I adjusted to the new status quo?
• What aspects of the change have not met expectations?
• What is my role in making those aspects more successful? 

7. Adjust the Change Plan

If the review process concludes that the change is not working as planned, adjustments need to be made to the change implementation. Assuming that your change analysis and plan have been executed accurately, you ought to be able to adjust the implementation of the organizational change to achieve your desired results.

• Determine where the outcomes are falling short of your plan.
• Engage key individuals in determining adjustments that need to be made.
• Keep the lines of communication open with everyone involved.
• Adjust the review process and the change implementation.

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Challenges of Change Engagement

There are challenges in an organization every time something significant changes. Some of the challenges are personal, some evolve within work teams, and some challenges emerge across the organization. To successfully engage in organizational change, you need to be aware of the challenges and be prepared to deal with them professionally and confidentially.

Breaking Down Resistance

Change typically generates at least some resistance. Individuals often feel that they are losing power, autonomy, or resources due to a changing work environment. As a result, they cling to the status quo. As team members engaging in change, your role is to challenge yourselves, persuade others to lower their resistance, and focus on positive outcomes.

Gaining Buy-In

One of the biggest challenges of change engagement is simply getting people to take change seriously. During periods of change, individuals often take a "wait and see" attitude, neither embracing nor resisting the change. Your challenge is to inspire yourselves and others to embrace change, support it, and even become champions for it.

Minimizing Anxiety

Change often generates anxiety. Individuals are more likely to embrace change and teams function more successfully when anxiety is at a minimum. Your challenge in minimizing anxiety is to understand the plan for change, to express your level of commitment to the plan, and to recognize that the plan and your role in it will evolve during the change.

Gaining Cooperation

Organizational change may breakdown cooperation. During change, organizations often observe the "silo effect" between departments, functions, and work teams when groups begin to function independently of departments or teams whose responsibilities overlap with theirs. Cooperation and communication during this time are at a minimum. As participants in organizational change, you are challenged to break down those walls and build bridges of cooperation between organizational functions.

Establishing Correct Priorities

When the work environment is changing, there is typically confusion over priorities. If you are getting a new manager, for instance, you may wonder what will he or she thinks is the most important priority or what you should focus on to emerge from the change successfully. The best way to meet the challenge of organizational change is to plan for it carefully.