It takes time and practice to improve your interpersonal skills. Many of the skills may take time for you to adopt; however, there are also some quick techniques that you can use to start to make things easier almost immediately.
Stay professional.
Be at your best in every situation. Remember that the way you act reflects on your character. Learn to deal with situations in an appropriate way.
Establish credibility.
Be sincere. If you are truthful and upfront with people, it will go a long way to gaining another person's respect and trust.
Understand others' point of view.
Remember to reflect on what others tell you. Even if you disagree, take the time to learn and understand another person's perspective.
Learn about others.
Take time to talk with employees or clients. Conversations do not need to be work related. Sometimes simple conversations can help you learn about the person and build rapport.
Be confident.
Keep eye contact and a relaxed body posture. Be sure to speak clearly and at a moderate pace.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Setting Goals for You and Your Team
When it comes to managing a team, you have to concentrate on several things. You’re discovering the job of management. While you’re concerned with their daily activities, your real concern is setting goals and keeping your team focused on achieving them. As you work to set your team’s objectives and develop strategies for meeting them, try these following tactics:
1. Prioritize your goals. First make a list of everything you’d like to see happen. Get input from your team and top management. Put those thoughts into four categories – urgent, very important, important and unneeded. Ask for input if you’re not sure how important something is.
2. Set your goals. Set clear and specific goals for each area. In addition, each goal should have distinct, measurable objectives. For example, say, “Productivity will increase by 10 percent by the end of the year with no additional expenses.”
3. Use intermediate goals as markers. Using the same example, setting a 2 percent increase by the end of the first quarter can help you stay on target and determine which tactics are working and which aren’t. This will help you hit a ten percent productivity increase for the end of the year.
4. Share the specific goals with your team. Make sure everyone understands the importance of the goals as well as the time-lines to reach them. Be sure to get as much input as possible from your team.
5. Reward success. Setting goals is one of the easier parts of your job. You now must keep your team and yourself motivated to achieve them in spite of constant change in the workplace. I find the strongest motivator is to give a reward each time a goal is met. It can be as small as a box of doughnuts or even a congratulatory memo. Just make sure that everyone knows you value his or her effort and time.
Tip #2 Goals & Priorities
Goals flow from the personal vision. Goals are signposts on the way to excellence. They are destinations we reach and pass as we move toward our mission. They must be carefully thought out. As you clarify your personal vision, it is critical to break it down into various areas you can focus on. Typically, goals fall into the following categories:
• Family
• Social
• Financial
• Career
• Health
• Spiritual
• Mental State
• Community
In setting goals, it is critical for you to establish the type of person you need to become to navigate the road to your personal vision. Often, in setting goals, we concentrate too much on what we want and neglect who we are becoming. Pay particular attention to setting specific self-improvement goals that will allow you to accomplish your goals more quickly and effortlessly.
Goals need to be long-term and short-term. Start with the long-term goals first. Look at your personal vision. Imagine yourself already there. What are the significant accomplishments you have made to get there? Consider all of the goal areas. What needs to be accomplished to get you to this exciting future? Answer these questions carefully, and you will have a solid set of long-term goals.
Tip #3 Setting Professional Goals
Using the SMART formula, determine the goals that will help you reach your objectives.
S - Specific - The specific improvement I will make.
M - Measurable - Ways to measure results and maintain accountability.
A - Attainable - Situation in which I will apply this principle
R - Relevant - How results of this commitment relate to my overall goals.
T - Time Phased - The first action I will take and when I will take it.
Tip #4 Tips on Goal Setting
Here are some tips when setting goals. Be sure to set goals that have distinct and measurable results. This will ensure that they are being met in a complete and timely manner. Also, chart the results of your goals over time.
Prioritize your goals. The first step is to brainstorm in order to generate a list of all you hope to accomplish. This can be done as a group with your team and those people that give you the projects. After generating this list, place all the ideas into categories – urgent, important, and unnecessary. Now you can develop a numbered list of specific goals for all that needs to get done.
Establish a production schedule with intermediate goals. Now that you have a list of what need to be done, make an actual schedule so you can put dates to all the ideas. Urgent goals need to be dealt with soon, so setting time frames for these tasks is important. In addition, by setting intermediate steps to your larger goals, you can be certain that the process is progressing smoothly and/or how production might need to be altered to meet deadlines. These intermediate goals also enable you to evaluate your team’s performance and determine which tactics are effective in completing your goals.
Communicate the goal system and objectives to your team. Be certain that each member of your team understands the importance of the goals and the timelines for achieving them. Obtain input from the team members about how to best meet these goals. Finally, assign your team members to work on specific aspects of the larger goals, letting them know what they are personally responsible for producing.
1. Prioritize your goals. First make a list of everything you’d like to see happen. Get input from your team and top management. Put those thoughts into four categories – urgent, very important, important and unneeded. Ask for input if you’re not sure how important something is.
2. Set your goals. Set clear and specific goals for each area. In addition, each goal should have distinct, measurable objectives. For example, say, “Productivity will increase by 10 percent by the end of the year with no additional expenses.”
3. Use intermediate goals as markers. Using the same example, setting a 2 percent increase by the end of the first quarter can help you stay on target and determine which tactics are working and which aren’t. This will help you hit a ten percent productivity increase for the end of the year.
4. Share the specific goals with your team. Make sure everyone understands the importance of the goals as well as the time-lines to reach them. Be sure to get as much input as possible from your team.
5. Reward success. Setting goals is one of the easier parts of your job. You now must keep your team and yourself motivated to achieve them in spite of constant change in the workplace. I find the strongest motivator is to give a reward each time a goal is met. It can be as small as a box of doughnuts or even a congratulatory memo. Just make sure that everyone knows you value his or her effort and time.
Tip #2 Goals & Priorities
Goals flow from the personal vision. Goals are signposts on the way to excellence. They are destinations we reach and pass as we move toward our mission. They must be carefully thought out. As you clarify your personal vision, it is critical to break it down into various areas you can focus on. Typically, goals fall into the following categories:
• Family
• Social
• Financial
• Career
• Health
• Spiritual
• Mental State
• Community
In setting goals, it is critical for you to establish the type of person you need to become to navigate the road to your personal vision. Often, in setting goals, we concentrate too much on what we want and neglect who we are becoming. Pay particular attention to setting specific self-improvement goals that will allow you to accomplish your goals more quickly and effortlessly.
Goals need to be long-term and short-term. Start with the long-term goals first. Look at your personal vision. Imagine yourself already there. What are the significant accomplishments you have made to get there? Consider all of the goal areas. What needs to be accomplished to get you to this exciting future? Answer these questions carefully, and you will have a solid set of long-term goals.
Tip #3 Setting Professional Goals
Using the SMART formula, determine the goals that will help you reach your objectives.
S - Specific - The specific improvement I will make.
M - Measurable - Ways to measure results and maintain accountability.
A - Attainable - Situation in which I will apply this principle
R - Relevant - How results of this commitment relate to my overall goals.
T - Time Phased - The first action I will take and when I will take it.
Tip #4 Tips on Goal Setting
Here are some tips when setting goals. Be sure to set goals that have distinct and measurable results. This will ensure that they are being met in a complete and timely manner. Also, chart the results of your goals over time.
Prioritize your goals. The first step is to brainstorm in order to generate a list of all you hope to accomplish. This can be done as a group with your team and those people that give you the projects. After generating this list, place all the ideas into categories – urgent, important, and unnecessary. Now you can develop a numbered list of specific goals for all that needs to get done.
Establish a production schedule with intermediate goals. Now that you have a list of what need to be done, make an actual schedule so you can put dates to all the ideas. Urgent goals need to be dealt with soon, so setting time frames for these tasks is important. In addition, by setting intermediate steps to your larger goals, you can be certain that the process is progressing smoothly and/or how production might need to be altered to meet deadlines. These intermediate goals also enable you to evaluate your team’s performance and determine which tactics are effective in completing your goals.
Communicate the goal system and objectives to your team. Be certain that each member of your team understands the importance of the goals and the timelines for achieving them. Obtain input from the team members about how to best meet these goals. Finally, assign your team members to work on specific aspects of the larger goals, letting them know what they are personally responsible for producing.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Building Relationships
Tip #1 Appreciate and Respect Others
The other person is important. You have little to gain if you choose to deny this. Your relationships with employees and coworkers are not subsidiary to the work you all come together to do; rather, strong relationships are essential to doing that work--especially if you want to do that work well.
People are much more than simply what their job description implies. You are able to learn from others' experiences that which you could not from simply the experiences you've had. Begin to foster the possibilities by employing some of the following Human Relations Principles:
Tip #2 Build Your Human Relations Skills
To build your human relation skills, try to:
Listening skills are an integral part of building relationships in the workplace. Use the following acronym to help you remember how to employ better listening skills:
LADDER
Tip #4 Make a Good First Impression
First impressions are often lasting impressions. Each time a new person meets you, that person takes just ten seconds to form a whole laundry list of impressions, beliefs, or assumptions regarding who you are and what you are about. Follow these tips for imparting a good first impression on others:
- Become genuinely interested in other people
- Smile
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
- Talk in terms of the other person's interests
- Make the other person feel important -- and do it with sincerity
Tip #2 Build Your Human Relations Skills
To build your human relation skills, try to:
- Talk in terms of the other person's interest.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Be a good listener.
- Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Be genuinely interested in others.
Listening skills are an integral part of building relationships in the workplace. Use the following acronym to help you remember how to employ better listening skills:
LADDER
- Look at the other person.
- Ask questions.
- Don't interrupt.
- Don't change the subject.
- Express emotion with control.
- Respond appropriately.
First impressions are often lasting impressions. Each time a new person meets you, that person takes just ten seconds to form a whole laundry list of impressions, beliefs, or assumptions regarding who you are and what you are about. Follow these tips for imparting a good first impression on others:
- Good posture
- Neat appearance
- Positive non-verbal communication
- Eye contact
- Confident handshake
Monday, December 7, 2009
Energizing Yourself for Change
One of the challenging results of organizational change is that it can leave you feeling fatigued. All of your efforts are focused on new tasks, responsibilities, and relationships. Because of this, you need to look for strategies to maintain and even increase your personal energy during times of change.
Create a Vision
Nothing is more personally motivating than creating a compelling vision. Visualize yourself succeeding as a result of the change. Imagine the benefits of growing as a result of the change -- creating new opportunities, building a more exciting and dynamic future, and opening up new opportunities for success.
List Opportunities
What are the opportunities presented by the change? Make a list of all the ways that you can grow, add new skills, meet influential people, and add valuable experience to your resumes.
Create Networks
It's difficult to create energy in a vacuum. Most people need the stimulation of other individuals and their ideas, input, feedback, and support. Times of change offer an opportunity to add to the network of people who understand you, believe in you, and are willing to help you move forward.
Build Bridges
Organizational change normally involves the establishment of new relationships. Sometimes you resist these new relationships, especially if it involves a new supervisor or a perceived loss of your authority. Instead of retreating from the new relationship, draw energy from it by embracing it and building bridges between yourself and people you encounter. Meeting new people is usually highly energizing because it gives you the opportunity to find commonalities in your values and goals and in the creativity of collaboration
Create a Vision
Nothing is more personally motivating than creating a compelling vision. Visualize yourself succeeding as a result of the change. Imagine the benefits of growing as a result of the change -- creating new opportunities, building a more exciting and dynamic future, and opening up new opportunities for success.
List Opportunities
What are the opportunities presented by the change? Make a list of all the ways that you can grow, add new skills, meet influential people, and add valuable experience to your resumes.
Create Networks
It's difficult to create energy in a vacuum. Most people need the stimulation of other individuals and their ideas, input, feedback, and support. Times of change offer an opportunity to add to the network of people who understand you, believe in you, and are willing to help you move forward.
Build Bridges
Organizational change normally involves the establishment of new relationships. Sometimes you resist these new relationships, especially if it involves a new supervisor or a perceived loss of your authority. Instead of retreating from the new relationship, draw energy from it by embracing it and building bridges between yourself and people you encounter. Meeting new people is usually highly energizing because it gives you the opportunity to find commonalities in your values and goals and in the creativity of collaboration
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Time Management to Reduce Stress
One critical habit to address in reducing workplace stress involves your productive and non-productive use of time. How do these positive work habits compare to your own?
Show Up Early
There is no downside to showing up early. When you come in early, you have extra time to gather your thoughts and get prepared, and you are sure to make a better impression in every situation. All the way around, this work habit reduces stress.
Maintain a Daily Planner
Whether you use software or plain paper, you need a daily planner to make sure that you are on top of all the daily details of your workdays. When you spend time planning, you reduce time spent executing tasks. Thorough daily planning is a key tool.
Be Present
How many times do you sit in meetings and allow your mind to wander from the subject under discussion? You are often physically present, but mentally in a totally different place. When you daydream during meetings, you end up uninformed about the meeting's topic and stressed. To avoid this tendency, sit up straight during meetings, take notes on the topic, and try to keep in eye contact with the speaker.
Avoid Procrastination
Everyone is motivated in different ways. Find what inspires and energizes you to tackle work issues, instead of putting them off. Commit to a regular schedule of work output and project completion.
Set Priorities
No one likes to leave work at the end of the day or week feeling like they didn't accomplish the most critical tasks. When you set and adhere to priorities, you avoid stress and keep on pace with the demands of your workload.
Protect Your Private Time
Some anxiety-provoking work habits, such as bringing work home or staying at work late, are more exhausting than we may realize. Sometimes it can't be avoided, but if it becomes a habit, you can start to feel like you don't have a life outside of work. Try to manage your time at work more efficiently so you can enjoy your time outside of the office.
Show Up Early
There is no downside to showing up early. When you come in early, you have extra time to gather your thoughts and get prepared, and you are sure to make a better impression in every situation. All the way around, this work habit reduces stress.
Maintain a Daily Planner
Whether you use software or plain paper, you need a daily planner to make sure that you are on top of all the daily details of your workdays. When you spend time planning, you reduce time spent executing tasks. Thorough daily planning is a key tool.
Be Present
How many times do you sit in meetings and allow your mind to wander from the subject under discussion? You are often physically present, but mentally in a totally different place. When you daydream during meetings, you end up uninformed about the meeting's topic and stressed. To avoid this tendency, sit up straight during meetings, take notes on the topic, and try to keep in eye contact with the speaker.
Avoid Procrastination
Everyone is motivated in different ways. Find what inspires and energizes you to tackle work issues, instead of putting them off. Commit to a regular schedule of work output and project completion.
Set Priorities
No one likes to leave work at the end of the day or week feeling like they didn't accomplish the most critical tasks. When you set and adhere to priorities, you avoid stress and keep on pace with the demands of your workload.
Protect Your Private Time
Some anxiety-provoking work habits, such as bringing work home or staying at work late, are more exhausting than we may realize. Sometimes it can't be avoided, but if it becomes a habit, you can start to feel like you don't have a life outside of work. Try to manage your time at work more efficiently so you can enjoy your time outside of the office.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Testimonials: Dale Carnegie Course - 11/18/09 graduation
Attending Dale Carnegie Course graduations is always inspiring. An incredibly powerful reminder of why I am part of this organization. Here are some excerpts of testimonial letters the participants wrote in preparation for this graduation.
"I have participated in an increased number of potential client meetings....we expect to see increased new client cashflow over the next 6 to 12 months."
Matt Wiles
Financial Associate, Crestone Capital Advisors
"Based on the estimated assets my firm would manage if I am able to acquire this new client, the ROI on my Dale Carnegie Course would be 4900%. Moreover, I have also been offered to lead the way on connecting with a second potential new client."
Alex Paul
Financial Associate, Crestone Capital Advisors
"The major benefit for my company comes from my new approach to negotiating....allowed me to focus on the solution instead of the problem."
Daniel Furman
Purchasing, Blue Mountain Arts
"I am now a more enthusiatic person.....My goal is to better communicate with and educate all of my internal customers."
Matt Bunning
Systems Manager, Blue Mountain Arts
"This class will definitely make a good impact on the way clients or other callers view the company."
Viviana Bracamontes
Intern, Morgan Stanley Smith Barney
"I haved built new confidence in myself when talking to professionals in the construction business and my colleagues....My company has recently shown their trust in my abilities by assigning me additional responsibilities to contact potential leads to establish a relationship for future projects."
Shawn Cross
Estimator, FCI Constructors
"I have become a more productive estimator, which has allowed me to take on more responsibilities."
Erik Henry
Estimator, FCI Constructors
"...a better supervisor for the laboratory environment. One who can manage the department and maintain a high level of performance within the department."
Frankie Lujan
Laboratory Supervisor, Molecular Products
"goal I will be working on will be...promoting our department company wide...enhancing relationships.....engaging in lively discussion of the overall culture and the challenges we face."
Debra Howeth
Project Manager, MSN Communications, Inc.
"Taking the Dale Carnegie Course has really impacted how I communicate with people."
Adaivet Martinez
Intern, Basset, Wallace, Selner, & Taylor
"Overall, at the end of next year, I expect a minimum increase of 15% over 2009 gross sales."
Clint Moore
Outside Sales, ProBuild
"Having the ability to effectively communicate and persuade others."
Vencent Singson
Technical Specialist, Hunter Douglas
"I have participated in an increased number of potential client meetings....we expect to see increased new client cashflow over the next 6 to 12 months."
Matt Wiles
Financial Associate, Crestone Capital Advisors
"Based on the estimated assets my firm would manage if I am able to acquire this new client, the ROI on my Dale Carnegie Course would be 4900%. Moreover, I have also been offered to lead the way on connecting with a second potential new client."
Alex Paul
Financial Associate, Crestone Capital Advisors
"The major benefit for my company comes from my new approach to negotiating....allowed me to focus on the solution instead of the problem."
Daniel Furman
Purchasing, Blue Mountain Arts
"I am now a more enthusiatic person.....My goal is to better communicate with and educate all of my internal customers."
Matt Bunning
Systems Manager, Blue Mountain Arts
"This class will definitely make a good impact on the way clients or other callers view the company."
Viviana Bracamontes
Intern, Morgan Stanley Smith Barney
"I haved built new confidence in myself when talking to professionals in the construction business and my colleagues....My company has recently shown their trust in my abilities by assigning me additional responsibilities to contact potential leads to establish a relationship for future projects."
Shawn Cross
Estimator, FCI Constructors
"I have become a more productive estimator, which has allowed me to take on more responsibilities."
Erik Henry
Estimator, FCI Constructors
"...a better supervisor for the laboratory environment. One who can manage the department and maintain a high level of performance within the department."
Frankie Lujan
Laboratory Supervisor, Molecular Products
"goal I will be working on will be...promoting our department company wide...enhancing relationships.....engaging in lively discussion of the overall culture and the challenges we face."
Debra Howeth
Project Manager, MSN Communications, Inc.
"Taking the Dale Carnegie Course has really impacted how I communicate with people."
Adaivet Martinez
Intern, Basset, Wallace, Selner, & Taylor
"Overall, at the end of next year, I expect a minimum increase of 15% over 2009 gross sales."
Clint Moore
Outside Sales, ProBuild
"Having the ability to effectively communicate and persuade others."
Vencent Singson
Technical Specialist, Hunter Douglas
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The Coaching Process
Coaching is a major responsibility for every manager, and for many people, it can be a major challenge. Managers need to be able to maintain performance standards, be certain people are following policies and procedures, and hit individual and team targets through other people.
Step One: Identify the Opportunity
There are five ways to identify opportunities.
1. You identify an opportunity for another person.
2. An individual identifies an opportunity for themselves.
3. A customer, vendor, or other outsider identifies an opportunity.
4. You identify new skills needed within your team.
5. A situation creates an opportunity.
These different opportunities may arise due to a new need or out of taking on a new job or project that requires a new skill, or they may come out of a performance review or be identified after a mistake occurs.
Multiple opportunities arise for people on your team, and it is your job as a manager to prioritize those needs to keep others on your team from getting overwhelmed by the possibilities.
Jot down some opportunities that you see for yourself or for others in your workplace. Are you the right person to point out these needs? What is the best way to do so?
Step Two: Picture the Desired Outcome
Once the opportunity is identified, it is important to take the time and pinpoint what the situation will look like when the gap is filled. This is the step that many people skip or don't develop fully, which can lead to confusion, misunderstanding, and frustration for everyone.
One of the most important concepts in coaching is having a vision or end goal in mind. Without that, people often lose sight of the importance of making the needed changes. How we create this picture of what is possible is the central component of this step in the coaching process.
People with a clear vision of the end result of coaching tend to move in that direction more quickly than those without. It is crucial that both the coach and the trainee own the goal. Without that sense of ownership, coach or trainee may lose motivation. We focus on motivation and buy-in even more in the next step of the process, but this is where direction and motivation really begin.
Step Three: Establish the Right Attitudes
How well you really know your team may determine how quickly you know if you have the right trainee for the job and are able to gauge their motivation. This step is a critical part of the process of effective coaching. Without it, you spend a great deal of your time just overcoming resistance.
You often hear that people resist change. It isn't true. People resist being changed when they:
• Don't see the need
• Don't want to do it
• Believe that the change is not possible for them
In this step, you should focus on some of the skills required to cut resistance and move through the coaching process with less friction. These skills are:
• Leadership
• Communication
• Building trust
• Getting commitment vs. compliance
Step Four: Provide the Resources
In order for a coaching process to be successful, it is important the appropriate resources available. This includes time and, most importantly, a personal commitment to succeed from everyone. Other resources may include money, equipment, training, information, and upper level buy-in and support.
Ensure that the appropriate resources are in place and available. Nothing is as frustrating as being promised something and then not getting it. It can make everyone feel like they have been set up to fail.
Step Five: Practice & Skill Development
Once the resources are in place and the correct skill set has been identified, explained, and demonstrated, it is now time for the trainee to practice and apply what has been learned. For knowledge to evolve into a skill, you must practice it and perfect the skill with the help of a coach, who can ensure that you are practicing the new skill and not the old habit.
Practice also allows the coach to identify strengths and opportunities for improvement.
• How to encourage others to success
• How closely to monitor and when to let go
• How to hold others accountable for progress
Step Six: Reinforce Progress
Making progress is one thing, but without a way to reinforce and maintain it, people may quickly go back to their old habits. One of the biggest fallacies managers hold on to is the assumption that if people know something, they will do it. People don't do what they know; they do what they have always done.
Try to use these strategies to reinforce learned skills:
• Empowering people to get results after they have learned new skills
• Giving the right kind of feedback
• Following up
• Handling nonperformance issues
• Handling mistakes and people who get off track
Step Seven: Reward
One of the best ways to cement growth and progress is to reward it. Rewarded behavior is repeated, and what gets repeated becomes habit.
But change can be uncomfortable. That is why people often revert to their habits if reinforcement and reward are not motivating forces. Habit is stronger than knowledge. To ensure that change happens quickly and is kept in place as long as needed, celebration and reward are important.
Some of the skills you put into coaching in this step of the process are:
• Praise and recognition
• Positive feedback techniques
• Recognizing people's strengths and accomplishments
• Having the right credibility and impact in the delivery
Step One: Identify the Opportunity
There are five ways to identify opportunities.
1. You identify an opportunity for another person.
2. An individual identifies an opportunity for themselves.
3. A customer, vendor, or other outsider identifies an opportunity.
4. You identify new skills needed within your team.
5. A situation creates an opportunity.
These different opportunities may arise due to a new need or out of taking on a new job or project that requires a new skill, or they may come out of a performance review or be identified after a mistake occurs.
Multiple opportunities arise for people on your team, and it is your job as a manager to prioritize those needs to keep others on your team from getting overwhelmed by the possibilities.
Jot down some opportunities that you see for yourself or for others in your workplace. Are you the right person to point out these needs? What is the best way to do so?
Step Two: Picture the Desired Outcome
Once the opportunity is identified, it is important to take the time and pinpoint what the situation will look like when the gap is filled. This is the step that many people skip or don't develop fully, which can lead to confusion, misunderstanding, and frustration for everyone.
One of the most important concepts in coaching is having a vision or end goal in mind. Without that, people often lose sight of the importance of making the needed changes. How we create this picture of what is possible is the central component of this step in the coaching process.
People with a clear vision of the end result of coaching tend to move in that direction more quickly than those without. It is crucial that both the coach and the trainee own the goal. Without that sense of ownership, coach or trainee may lose motivation. We focus on motivation and buy-in even more in the next step of the process, but this is where direction and motivation really begin.
Step Three: Establish the Right Attitudes
How well you really know your team may determine how quickly you know if you have the right trainee for the job and are able to gauge their motivation. This step is a critical part of the process of effective coaching. Without it, you spend a great deal of your time just overcoming resistance.
You often hear that people resist change. It isn't true. People resist being changed when they:
• Don't see the need
• Don't want to do it
• Believe that the change is not possible for them
In this step, you should focus on some of the skills required to cut resistance and move through the coaching process with less friction. These skills are:
• Leadership
• Communication
• Building trust
• Getting commitment vs. compliance
Step Four: Provide the Resources
In order for a coaching process to be successful, it is important the appropriate resources available. This includes time and, most importantly, a personal commitment to succeed from everyone. Other resources may include money, equipment, training, information, and upper level buy-in and support.
Ensure that the appropriate resources are in place and available. Nothing is as frustrating as being promised something and then not getting it. It can make everyone feel like they have been set up to fail.
Step Five: Practice & Skill Development
Once the resources are in place and the correct skill set has been identified, explained, and demonstrated, it is now time for the trainee to practice and apply what has been learned. For knowledge to evolve into a skill, you must practice it and perfect the skill with the help of a coach, who can ensure that you are practicing the new skill and not the old habit.
Practice also allows the coach to identify strengths and opportunities for improvement.
• How to encourage others to success
• How closely to monitor and when to let go
• How to hold others accountable for progress
Step Six: Reinforce Progress
Making progress is one thing, but without a way to reinforce and maintain it, people may quickly go back to their old habits. One of the biggest fallacies managers hold on to is the assumption that if people know something, they will do it. People don't do what they know; they do what they have always done.
Try to use these strategies to reinforce learned skills:
• Empowering people to get results after they have learned new skills
• Giving the right kind of feedback
• Following up
• Handling nonperformance issues
• Handling mistakes and people who get off track
Step Seven: Reward
One of the best ways to cement growth and progress is to reward it. Rewarded behavior is repeated, and what gets repeated becomes habit.
But change can be uncomfortable. That is why people often revert to their habits if reinforcement and reward are not motivating forces. Habit is stronger than knowledge. To ensure that change happens quickly and is kept in place as long as needed, celebration and reward are important.
Some of the skills you put into coaching in this step of the process are:
• Praise and recognition
• Positive feedback techniques
• Recognizing people's strengths and accomplishments
• Having the right credibility and impact in the delivery
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Twelve Steps to Win-Win Conflict Resolution
Step 1: Have a positive attitude.
Your attitude is essential to the outcome. You have a much better chance of coming to an outcome involving mutual gains if you approach the conflict as an opportunity to learn and achieve a win-win outcome.
Step 2: Meet on mutual ground.
Find a mutually agreeable, comfortable, and convenient physical space to meet. Agree on when you will meet and how much time you want to devote to the process. Whenever possible, deal with conflict face-to-face.
Step 3: Clearly define and agree on the issue.
Agree on a statement of the issue using simple and factual terms. If the situation is multi-faceted, search for ways to slice the large issue into smaller pieces and deal with one issue at a time.
Step 4: Do your homework.
Take time to plan. You must not only know what is at stake for yourself, but you need to understand the other side's concerns and motivation. Take into consideration any history or past situations that might affect the resolution. Know the must-haves (non-negotiable items) and nice-to-haves (negotiable items). Determine the best resolution, a fair and reasonable compromise, and a minimally acceptable outcome.
Step 5: Take an honest inventory of yourself.
Determine your level of trust in the other people and the process. Be conscious of aspects of your personality that can help or hinder the process.
Step 6: Look for shared interests.
Get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities. Since conflict tends to magnify perceived differences and minimize similarities, look for common goals, objectives, or even gripes that illustrate that you are in this together. Focus on the future, talk about what is to be done, and tackle the problem jointly.
Step 7: Deal with facts, not emotions.
Address problems, not personalities. Avoid any tendency to attack other people or to pass judgment on ideas and opinions. Avoid focusing on the past or blaming others. Maintain a rational, goal-oriented frame of mind. This will depersonalize the conflict, separate the issues from the people involved, and avoid defensiveness.
Step 8: Be honest.
Don't play games. Be honest and clear about what is important to you. It is equally essential to be clear and to communicate why organization goals, issues, and objectives are important.
Step 9: Present alternatives and provide evidence.
Create options and alternatives that demonstrate willingness to compromise. Consider conceding in areas that might have high value to others but are not that important to you. Frame options in terms of the other people's interests and provide evidence for your point of view.
Step 10: Be an expert communicator.
Nothing shows determination to find a mutually satisfactory resolution to conflict more than applying excellent communication skills. Ask questions, listen, rephrase what you heard to check for understanding, and take a genuine interest in each person's concerns. Focus on ways in which you can move toward a resolution or compromise.
Step 11: End on a good note.
Make a win-win proposal and check to make sure that everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have won. Shake on it and agree on the action steps, who is responsible for each step, how success will be measured, and how and when the resolution will be evaluated. If there is a deadlock on non-critical issues, agree to disagree.
Step 12: Enjoy the process.
Appreciate the benefits of learning other people's perspective. People report that after overcoming conflict and reaching an agreement, the relationship grew even stronger. Reflect and learn from each experience. Determine the criteria to evaluate the process and the solution.
Your attitude is essential to the outcome. You have a much better chance of coming to an outcome involving mutual gains if you approach the conflict as an opportunity to learn and achieve a win-win outcome.
Step 2: Meet on mutual ground.
Find a mutually agreeable, comfortable, and convenient physical space to meet. Agree on when you will meet and how much time you want to devote to the process. Whenever possible, deal with conflict face-to-face.
Step 3: Clearly define and agree on the issue.
Agree on a statement of the issue using simple and factual terms. If the situation is multi-faceted, search for ways to slice the large issue into smaller pieces and deal with one issue at a time.
Step 4: Do your homework.
Take time to plan. You must not only know what is at stake for yourself, but you need to understand the other side's concerns and motivation. Take into consideration any history or past situations that might affect the resolution. Know the must-haves (non-negotiable items) and nice-to-haves (negotiable items). Determine the best resolution, a fair and reasonable compromise, and a minimally acceptable outcome.
Step 5: Take an honest inventory of yourself.
Determine your level of trust in the other people and the process. Be conscious of aspects of your personality that can help or hinder the process.
Step 6: Look for shared interests.
Get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities. Since conflict tends to magnify perceived differences and minimize similarities, look for common goals, objectives, or even gripes that illustrate that you are in this together. Focus on the future, talk about what is to be done, and tackle the problem jointly.
Step 7: Deal with facts, not emotions.
Address problems, not personalities. Avoid any tendency to attack other people or to pass judgment on ideas and opinions. Avoid focusing on the past or blaming others. Maintain a rational, goal-oriented frame of mind. This will depersonalize the conflict, separate the issues from the people involved, and avoid defensiveness.
Step 8: Be honest.
Don't play games. Be honest and clear about what is important to you. It is equally essential to be clear and to communicate why organization goals, issues, and objectives are important.
Step 9: Present alternatives and provide evidence.
Create options and alternatives that demonstrate willingness to compromise. Consider conceding in areas that might have high value to others but are not that important to you. Frame options in terms of the other people's interests and provide evidence for your point of view.
Step 10: Be an expert communicator.
Nothing shows determination to find a mutually satisfactory resolution to conflict more than applying excellent communication skills. Ask questions, listen, rephrase what you heard to check for understanding, and take a genuine interest in each person's concerns. Focus on ways in which you can move toward a resolution or compromise.
Step 11: End on a good note.
Make a win-win proposal and check to make sure that everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have won. Shake on it and agree on the action steps, who is responsible for each step, how success will be measured, and how and when the resolution will be evaluated. If there is a deadlock on non-critical issues, agree to disagree.
Step 12: Enjoy the process.
Appreciate the benefits of learning other people's perspective. People report that after overcoming conflict and reaching an agreement, the relationship grew even stronger. Reflect and learn from each experience. Determine the criteria to evaluate the process and the solution.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Communicate with Diplomacy and Tact
The way in which we communicate can elicit positive or negative emotions. If we communicate aggressively, without respect or sensitivity, defensive or angry emotions can prevent others from hearing the message we are trying to convey. Communicating with diplomacy and tact is an approach that combines strength and sensitivity and keeps negative emotions at bay.
The Six Rules for Disagreeing Agreeably
Rule #1: Give others the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the person who made that outrageous generalization isn't really insensitive. Maybe this person has had a painful experience that made him overreact.
Rule #2: After giving someone the benefit of the doubt, listen to learn and truly understand why this person holds this belief. We must let him/her know we've heard them and we are genuinely trying to see things from their perspective.
Rule #3: Always take responsibility for our own feelings, when disagreeing with someone. Make a commitment to respond using "I" statements only. When we begin with "you" we come off as blaming and confrontational and immediately put the other person on the defensive. This reduces the chance of our point of view being heard.
Rule #4: Use a cushion. Connect or "cushion" a different opinion, starting with "I hear what you're saying" Or "I appreciate your view on". Again, begin with the word "I" and not "You said..." or it will sound confrontational.
Rule #5: Eliminate the words "but" or "however" from our vocabulary. Once we have cushioned the other person's opinion, use "and," or pause and say nothing, following the cushion. Acknowledging the individual's point of view and following it with a "but" or "however" erases the acknowledgement.
Rule #6: State our point of view or opinion with relevant and factual evidence. Keep our emotions out of the equation by using the following formula:
Take time to reflect:
The Six Rules for Disagreeing Agreeably
Rule #1: Give others the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the person who made that outrageous generalization isn't really insensitive. Maybe this person has had a painful experience that made him overreact.
Rule #2: After giving someone the benefit of the doubt, listen to learn and truly understand why this person holds this belief. We must let him/her know we've heard them and we are genuinely trying to see things from their perspective.
Rule #3: Always take responsibility for our own feelings, when disagreeing with someone. Make a commitment to respond using "I" statements only. When we begin with "you" we come off as blaming and confrontational and immediately put the other person on the defensive. This reduces the chance of our point of view being heard.
Rule #4: Use a cushion. Connect or "cushion" a different opinion, starting with "I hear what you're saying" Or "I appreciate your view on". Again, begin with the word "I" and not "You said..." or it will sound confrontational.
Rule #5: Eliminate the words "but" or "however" from our vocabulary. Once we have cushioned the other person's opinion, use "and," or pause and say nothing, following the cushion. Acknowledging the individual's point of view and following it with a "but" or "however" erases the acknowledgement.
Rule #6: State our point of view or opinion with relevant and factual evidence. Keep our emotions out of the equation by using the following formula:
Take time to reflect:
- What do I think?
- Why do I think it?
- What evidence do I have?
- "One example is"
- "This shows that"
- "Therefore, I think"
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
“Attitude Control” to Reduce Stress
Opportunity for new work habits concerns your attitude control. When you get your work attitudes under control, every other aspect of your work improves. Try to implement these attitude-control concepts to streamline your work habits.
Connect with Coworkers and Use Their Names
It's easy to become so self-focused in a workday that you start to tune out your coworkers. This can add to a feeling of isolation and stress at work. It is better from a stress standpoint to reach out and greet others, learn their names, and maybe even win friends in the process.
Let Things Go
There comes a time when you recognize that the best solution is to relax and accept that you can't have everything turn out perfectly every time. If you feel like you are experiencing too much stress in a situation, ask yourself, "Is this a situation where I should just let go?" or "Does this need to be perfect?" The answer may surprise you.
Take Charge
Your attitudes improve when you take charge of situations and accomplish a goal. At the very least, you can take charge of your own workload, relationships, and attitude. When you hesitate or procrastinate, you undermine your energy and make your work more stressful than it has to be.
Stay Calm
Whatever it takes - counting to 10, taking deep breaths, going for a walk, or doing a quick meditation, concentrate on staying calm. Avoid overreacting, lashing out, or acting impulsively, which only adds to your stress level.
Appreciate the Uniqueness in Others
As much as you sometimes feel that way, you really would not like it if everyone was just like you at the workplace. It would be boring. Differences in backgrounds, perspectives, and work styles make the workplace more interesting and vibrant, not less. Work on appreciating the unique strengths of others and the richness they bring to your life.
Connect with Coworkers and Use Their Names
It's easy to become so self-focused in a workday that you start to tune out your coworkers. This can add to a feeling of isolation and stress at work. It is better from a stress standpoint to reach out and greet others, learn their names, and maybe even win friends in the process.
Let Things Go
There comes a time when you recognize that the best solution is to relax and accept that you can't have everything turn out perfectly every time. If you feel like you are experiencing too much stress in a situation, ask yourself, "Is this a situation where I should just let go?" or "Does this need to be perfect?" The answer may surprise you.
Take Charge
Your attitudes improve when you take charge of situations and accomplish a goal. At the very least, you can take charge of your own workload, relationships, and attitude. When you hesitate or procrastinate, you undermine your energy and make your work more stressful than it has to be.
Stay Calm
Whatever it takes - counting to 10, taking deep breaths, going for a walk, or doing a quick meditation, concentrate on staying calm. Avoid overreacting, lashing out, or acting impulsively, which only adds to your stress level.
Appreciate the Uniqueness in Others
As much as you sometimes feel that way, you really would not like it if everyone was just like you at the workplace. It would be boring. Differences in backgrounds, perspectives, and work styles make the workplace more interesting and vibrant, not less. Work on appreciating the unique strengths of others and the richness they bring to your life.
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