Time Management to Reduce Stress

One critical habit to address in reducing workplace stress involves your productive and non-productive use of time. How do these positive work habits compare to your own?


Show Up Early

There is no downside to showing up early. When you come in early, you have extra time to gather your thoughts and get prepared, and you are sure to make a better impression in every situation. All the way around, this work habit reduces stress.

Maintain a Daily Planner

Whether you use software or plain paper, you need a daily planner to make sure that you are on top of all the daily details of your workdays. When you spend time planning, you reduce time spent executing tasks. Thorough daily planning is a key tool.

Be Present

How many times do you sit in meetings and allow your mind to wander from the subject under discussion? You are often physically present, but mentally in a totally different place. When you daydream during meetings, you end up uninformed about the meeting's topic and stressed. To avoid this tendency, sit up straight during meetings, take notes on the topic, and try to keep in eye contact with the speaker.

Avoid Procrastination

Everyone is motivated in different ways. Find what inspires and energizes you to tackle work issues, instead of putting them off. Commit to a regular schedule of work output and project completion.

Set Priorities

No one likes to leave work at the end of the day or week feeling like they didn't accomplish the most critical tasks. When you set and adhere to priorities, you avoid stress and keep on pace with the demands of your workload.

Protect Your Private Time

Some anxiety-provoking work habits, such as bringing work home or staying at work late, are more exhausting than we may realize. Sometimes it can't be avoided, but if it becomes a habit, you can start to feel like you don't have a life outside of work. Try to manage your time at work more efficiently so you can enjoy your time outside of the office.

Testimonials: Dale Carnegie Course - 11/18/09 graduation

Attending Dale Carnegie Course graduations is always inspiring. An incredibly powerful reminder of why I am part of this organization. Here are some excerpts of testimonial letters the participants wrote in preparation for this graduation.


"I have participated in an increased number of potential client meetings....we expect to see increased new client cashflow over the next 6 to 12 months."

Matt Wiles
Financial Associate, Crestone Capital Advisors

"Based on the estimated assets my firm would manage if I am able to acquire this new client, the ROI on my Dale Carnegie Course would be 4900%. Moreover, I have also been offered to lead the way on connecting with a second potential new client."

Alex Paul
Financial Associate, Crestone Capital Advisors

"The major benefit for my company comes from my new approach to negotiating....allowed me to focus on the solution instead of the problem."

Daniel Furman
Purchasing, Blue Mountain Arts

"I am now a more enthusiatic person.....My goal is to better communicate with and educate all of my internal customers."

Matt Bunning
Systems Manager, Blue Mountain Arts

"This class will definitely make a good impact on the way clients or other callers view the company."

Viviana Bracamontes
Intern, Morgan Stanley Smith Barney

"I haved built new confidence in myself when talking to professionals in the construction business and my colleagues....My company has recently shown their trust in my abilities by assigning me additional responsibilities to contact potential leads to establish a relationship for future projects."

Shawn Cross
Estimator, FCI Constructors

"I have become a more productive estimator, which has allowed me to take on more responsibilities."

Erik Henry
Estimator, FCI Constructors

"...a better supervisor for the laboratory environment. One who can manage the department and maintain a high level of performance within the department."

Frankie Lujan
Laboratory Supervisor, Molecular Products

"goal I will be working on will be...promoting our department company wide...enhancing relationships.....engaging in lively discussion of the overall culture and the challenges we face."

Debra Howeth
Project Manager, MSN Communications, Inc.

"Taking the Dale Carnegie Course has really impacted how I communicate with people."

Adaivet Martinez
Intern, Basset, Wallace, Selner, & Taylor

"Overall, at the end of next year, I expect a minimum increase of 15% over 2009 gross sales."

Clint Moore
Outside Sales, ProBuild

"Having the ability to effectively communicate and persuade others."

Vencent Singson
Technical Specialist, Hunter Douglas

The Coaching Process

Coaching is a major responsibility for every manager, and for many people, it can be a major challenge. Managers need to be able to maintain performance standards, be certain people are following policies and procedures, and hit individual and team targets through other people.

Step One: Identify the Opportunity
There are five ways to identify opportunities.
1. You identify an opportunity for another person.
2. An individual identifies an opportunity for themselves.
3. A customer, vendor, or other outsider identifies an opportunity.
4. You identify new skills needed within your team.
5. A situation creates an opportunity.

These different opportunities may arise due to a new need or out of taking on a new job or project that requires a new skill, or they may come out of a performance review or be identified after a mistake occurs.

Multiple opportunities arise for people on your team, and it is your job as a manager to prioritize those needs to keep others on your team from getting overwhelmed by the possibilities.
Jot down some opportunities that you see for yourself or for others in your workplace. Are you the right person to point out these needs? What is the best way to do so?

Step Two: Picture the Desired Outcome
Once the opportunity is identified, it is important to take the time and pinpoint what the situation will look like when the gap is filled. This is the step that many people skip or don't develop fully, which can lead to confusion, misunderstanding, and frustration for everyone.

One of the most important concepts in coaching is having a vision or end goal in mind. Without that, people often lose sight of the importance of making the needed changes. How we create this picture of what is possible is the central component of this step in the coaching process.

People with a clear vision of the end result of coaching tend to move in that direction more quickly than those without. It is crucial that both the coach and the trainee own the goal. Without that sense of ownership, coach or trainee may lose motivation. We focus on motivation and buy-in even more in the next step of the process, but this is where direction and motivation really begin.

Step Three: Establish the Right Attitudes
How well you really know your team may determine how quickly you know if you have the right trainee for the job and are able to gauge their motivation. This step is a critical part of the process of effective coaching. Without it, you spend a great deal of your time just overcoming resistance.

You often hear that people resist change. It isn't true. People resist being changed when they:
• Don't see the need
• Don't want to do it
• Believe that the change is not possible for them

In this step, you should focus on some of the skills required to cut resistance and move through the coaching process with less friction. These skills are:
• Leadership
• Communication
• Building trust
• Getting commitment vs. compliance

Step Four: Provide the Resources
In order for a coaching process to be successful, it is important the appropriate resources available. This includes time and, most importantly, a personal commitment to succeed from everyone. Other resources may include money, equipment, training, information, and upper level buy-in and support.

Ensure that the appropriate resources are in place and available. Nothing is as frustrating as being promised something and then not getting it. It can make everyone feel like they have been set up to fail.

Step Five: Practice & Skill Development
Once the resources are in place and the correct skill set has been identified, explained, and demonstrated, it is now time for the trainee to practice and apply what has been learned. For knowledge to evolve into a skill, you must practice it and perfect the skill with the help of a coach, who can ensure that you are practicing the new skill and not the old habit.

Practice also allows the coach to identify strengths and opportunities for improvement.
• How to encourage others to success
• How closely to monitor and when to let go
• How to hold others accountable for progress

Step Six: Reinforce Progress
Making progress is one thing, but without a way to reinforce and maintain it, people may quickly go back to their old habits. One of the biggest fallacies managers hold on to is the assumption that if people know something, they will do it. People don't do what they know; they do what they have always done.

Try to use these strategies to reinforce learned skills:
• Empowering people to get results after they have learned new skills
• Giving the right kind of feedback
• Following up
• Handling nonperformance issues
• Handling mistakes and people who get off track

Step Seven: Reward
One of the best ways to cement growth and progress is to reward it. Rewarded behavior is repeated, and what gets repeated becomes habit.

But change can be uncomfortable. That is why people often revert to their habits if reinforcement and reward are not motivating forces. Habit is stronger than knowledge. To ensure that change happens quickly and is kept in place as long as needed, celebration and reward are important.

Some of the skills you put into coaching in this step of the process are:
• Praise and recognition
• Positive feedback techniques
• Recognizing people's strengths and accomplishments
• Having the right credibility and impact in the delivery

Twelve Steps to Win-Win Conflict Resolution

Step 1: Have a positive attitude.
Your attitude is essential to the outcome. You have a much better chance of coming to an outcome involving mutual gains if you approach the conflict as an opportunity to learn and achieve a win-win outcome.

Step 2: Meet on mutual ground.
Find a mutually agreeable, comfortable, and convenient physical space to meet. Agree on when you will meet and how much time you want to devote to the process. Whenever possible, deal with conflict face-to-face.

Step 3: Clearly define and agree on the issue.
Agree on a statement of the issue using simple and factual terms. If the situation is multi-faceted, search for ways to slice the large issue into smaller pieces and deal with one issue at a time.

Step 4: Do your homework.
Take time to plan. You must not only know what is at stake for yourself, but you need to understand the other side's concerns and motivation. Take into consideration any history or past situations that might affect the resolution. Know the must-haves (non-negotiable items) and nice-to-haves (negotiable items). Determine the best resolution, a fair and reasonable compromise, and a minimally acceptable outcome.

Step 5: Take an honest inventory of yourself.
Determine your level of trust in the other people and the process. Be conscious of aspects of your personality that can help or hinder the process.

Step 6: Look for shared interests.
Get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities. Since conflict tends to magnify perceived differences and minimize similarities, look for common goals, objectives, or even gripes that illustrate that you are in this together. Focus on the future, talk about what is to be done, and tackle the problem jointly.

Step 7: Deal with facts, not emotions.
Address problems, not personalities. Avoid any tendency to attack other people or to pass judgment on ideas and opinions. Avoid focusing on the past or blaming others. Maintain a rational, goal-oriented frame of mind. This will depersonalize the conflict, separate the issues from the people involved, and avoid defensiveness.

Step 8: Be honest.
Don't play games. Be honest and clear about what is important to you. It is equally essential to be clear and to communicate why organization goals, issues, and objectives are important.

Step 9: Present alternatives and provide evidence.
Create options and alternatives that demonstrate willingness to compromise. Consider conceding in areas that might have high value to others but are not that important to you. Frame options in terms of the other people's interests and provide evidence for your point of view.

Step 10: Be an expert communicator.
Nothing shows determination to find a mutually satisfactory resolution to conflict more than applying excellent communication skills. Ask questions, listen, rephrase what you heard to check for understanding, and take a genuine interest in each person's concerns. Focus on ways in which you can move toward a resolution or compromise.

Step 11: End on a good note.
Make a win-win proposal and check to make sure that everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have won. Shake on it and agree on the action steps, who is responsible for each step, how success will be measured, and how and when the resolution will be evaluated. If there is a deadlock on non-critical issues, agree to disagree.

Step 12: Enjoy the process.
Appreciate the benefits of learning other people's perspective. People report that after overcoming conflict and reaching an agreement, the relationship grew even stronger. Reflect and learn from each experience. Determine the criteria to evaluate the process and the solution.

Communicate with Diplomacy and Tact

The way in which we communicate can elicit positive or negative emotions. If we communicate aggressively, without respect or sensitivity, defensive or angry emotions can prevent others from hearing the message we are trying to convey. Communicating with diplomacy and tact is an approach that combines strength and sensitivity and keeps negative emotions at bay.

The Six Rules for Disagreeing Agreeably

Rule #1: Give others the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the person who made that outrageous generalization isn't really insensitive. Maybe this person has had a painful experience that made him overreact.

Rule #2: After giving someone the benefit of the doubt, listen to learn and truly understand why this person holds this belief. We must let him/her know we've heard them and we are genuinely trying to see things from their perspective.

Rule #3: Always take responsibility for our own feelings, when disagreeing with someone. Make a commitment to respond using "I" statements only. When we begin with "you" we come off as blaming and confrontational and immediately put the other person on the defensive. This reduces the chance of our point of view being heard.

Rule #4: Use a cushion. Connect or "cushion" a different opinion, starting with "I hear what you're saying" Or "I appreciate your view on". Again, begin with the word "I" and not "You said..." or it will sound confrontational.

Rule #5: Eliminate the words "but" or "however" from our vocabulary. Once we have cushioned the other person's opinion, use "and," or pause and say nothing, following the cushion. Acknowledging the individual's point of view and following it with a "but" or "however" erases the acknowledgement.

Rule #6: State our point of view or opinion with relevant and factual evidence. Keep our emotions out of the equation by using the following formula:

Take time to reflect:

• What do I think?
• Why do I think it?
• What evidence do I have?
  

Then speak:

• "One example is"
• "This shows that"
• "Therefore, I think"

“Attitude Control” to Reduce Stress

Opportunity for new work habits concerns your attitude control. When you get your work attitudes under control, every other aspect of your work improves. Try to implement these attitude-control concepts to streamline your work habits.

Connect with Coworkers and Use Their Names
It's easy to become so self-focused in a workday that you start to tune out your coworkers. This can add to a feeling of isolation and stress at work. It is better from a stress standpoint to reach out and greet others, learn their names, and maybe even win friends in the process.

Let Things Go
There comes a time when you recognize that the best solution is to relax and accept that you can't have everything turn out perfectly every time. If you feel like you are experiencing too much stress in a situation, ask yourself, "Is this a situation where I should just let go?" or "Does this need to be perfect?" The answer may surprise you.

Take Charge
Your attitudes improve when you take charge of situations and accomplish a goal. At the very least, you can take charge of your own workload, relationships, and attitude. When you hesitate or procrastinate, you undermine your energy and make your work more stressful than it has to be.

Stay Calm
Whatever it takes - counting to 10, taking deep breaths, going for a walk, or doing a quick meditation, concentrate on staying calm. Avoid overreacting, lashing out, or acting impulsively, which only adds to your stress level.

Appreciate the Uniqueness in Others
As much as you sometimes feel that way, you really would not like it if everyone was just like you at the workplace. It would be boring. Differences in backgrounds, perspectives, and work styles make the workplace more interesting and vibrant, not less. Work on appreciating the unique strengths of others and the richness they bring to your life.

Facilitate for Group Results

Facilitation by definition means to make easy for others. Facilitation is about helping a group experience "discovery" and "application" while moving forward toward improved performance. An effective facilitator will help participants learn from each other through guided discussion and other methods. Often during openings, activities, coaching, questioning, and closing, the presenter is really facilitating a process rather than presenting information. An effective facilitator draws from the group and leads people to a higher level. Here is how you can be a great facilitator.

Pacing

• Keep a sense of urgency for yourself and for the participants.
• Use a countdown timer for some exercises and activities to ensure the group stays on topic and on time.
• Start and end on time.
• Look for signals from participants that they are bored. Change the action.
• Put people into small group discussions to drive up pace and energy.
• Get people on their feet.
• Mix people into different groups.
• Change the room setting. Shift the front of the room by ninety degrees or use a different layout for the tables or chairs.
• Do something unexpected, like a pop quiz or team competition.
• Take a break every 90 minutes.
• Never mention breaks unless you are about to take one.
• If participants know it is time for lunch or time to end the day, just stop. Nothing you say or do will keep everyone's attention.

Encouraging Discussion

• Before we begin our session on..., let's go around the room and get some words that describe this topic as you understand it.
• Describe a time when you were encouraged to....
• Describe a time when you were discouraged from....
• Describe a time when effective...paid off.
• Describe your worst experience with...
• Describe your best experience with....
• What is your definition of...?
• What lessons have you learned about...?
• If you had to offer advice about..., what would it be?
• The word...means many things to people, what does...mean to you?

Summarizing

• Don't tell people what you can ask them.
• Briefly review key learning points.
• Confirm the benefits and value of being in the room.
• Discuss application opportunities and coach people to identify specific upcoming situations where they will use what they learned.
• Have participants discuss learning and applications in small groups and report back.
• Create a sense of urgency. Coach participants to act immediately, like at a break on the phone, rather than a week or month from now.
• Have participants get into teams and do "teach-backs" of key points to the full group.

Alex Zaborenko
Dale Carnegie Training of Colorado of Southern Wyoming
http://www.dalecarnegiecolorado.com/

Presenting to Gain Input

One of the most common and critical types of business presentations is the presentation to gain input. Rather than being a one-way delivery of information, this presentation seeks involvement from the participants and relies on getting productive outcomes to move processes forward. By its nature, this type of presentation requires flexibility on the part of the presenter and a willingness to allow the process to unfold without dominating the discussion. In planning a presentation to gain input, carefully consider the people who will attend the meeting. Who is your audience?

Knowledge of the topic. To gain input, you typically invite participants who have a thorough knowledge of the topic. Sometimes, however, you want an audience that has little or no experience with the topic, as in focus groups or market research.

Previous experience with the topic. Does your audience include individuals who have had a range of experience with the topic? How have they reacted: positively or negatively? What specific examples do you know?

Level of preparation required for the meeting. If you are looking for informed input, you may need to ask your participants to prepare for the meeting. Consider what they may need to bring with them to the presentation in the way of documentation, homework, research, or planning and let them know in advance.

Individual bias concerning the topic. Are you aware of bias for or against your topic? Does this audience include individuals who either champion this topic or who are antagonistic toward some aspect of it?

Attitudes of open-mindedness and cooperation. Review the individuals participating in the presentation. Do they include people who are open about exchanging their ideas and opinions? Are there participants who are reluctant to speak up? Will this audience cooperate with your agenda and purpose?

Degree of detail preferred by participants. Some audiences want only the basics about the topic under discussion. Others need more details before they are willing to express themselves. Consider preparing levels of detail from broad to specific that you can bring into the discussion as needed.

Supporting evidence needed to present the topic. Present basic evidence in the body of your presentation. Be prepared to reveal additional evidence in response to questions and requests for clarification.

Alex Zaborenko
Dale Carnegie Training of Colorado and Southern Wyoming
www.dalecarnegiecolorado.com

Twelve Tips to All-Win Negotiations

Negotiating is the process of attempting to agree on a solution. Compromising, or settling on a mutually agreeable solution, is the result of successful negotiations. Compromise is all about being flexible. It means being able to generate alternate solutions when you've "hit the wall." Whether it involves a person you can't get along with, an idea you know will work but that others are reluctant to embrace, a change in office systems, or a turf war that needs ending, learning to negotiate and compromise is essential to your success.

1) Have a positive attitude. Your attitude is essential to the outcome. You improve your chance of achieving a mutually rewarding solution if you approach the negotiation as an opportunity to learn and achieve an all-win outcome.

2) Meet on mutual ground. Find a mutually agreeable and convenient physical space to meet that is comfortable for all involved. Agree on when you will meet and how much time is available to devote to the process. Whenever possible, deal with negotiations face-to-face. Be careful about negotiating over the phone or in e-mail. A lack of facial expressions, vocal intonation, and other cues can result in a negotiation breakdown.

3) Clearly define and agree on the issue. Agree on a statement of the issue using simple and factual terms. If the situation is multifaceted, search for ways to slice the large issue into smaller pieces and deal with one issue at a time.

4) Do your homework. Take time to plan. You must not only know what is at stake for yourself, but you need to know the other side's concerns and motivation. Take into consideration any history or past situations that might affect the negotiations. Know the must-haves (non-negotiable items) and nice-to-haves (negotiable items). Determine the best resolution, a fair and reasonable compromise, and a minimally acceptable deal.

5) Take an honest inventory of yourself. Determine your level of trust in the other person and the process. Be conscious of aspects of your personality that can help or hinder the process.

6) Look for shared interests. Get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities. Since conflict tends to magnify perceived differences and minimize similarities, look for common goals, objectives, or even gripes that can illustrate that you are in this together. Focus on the future, talk about what needs to be done, and tackle the problem jointly.

7) Deal with facts, not emotions. Address problems, not personalities. Avoid any tendency to attack the other person or to pass judgment on his or her ideas and opinions. Avoid focusing on the past or blaming the other person. Maintain a rational, goal-oriented frame of mind. This will depersonalize the conflict, separate the issues from the people involved, and avoid defensiveness.

8) Be honest. Don't play games. Be honest and clear about what is important to you and communicate why your goals, issues, and objectives are important to you.

9) Present alternatives and provide evidence. Create options and alternatives that demonstrate willingness to compromise. Consider conceding in areas that might have high value to the other person but are not that important to you. Frame options in terms of the other person's interests and provide evidence for your point of view.

10) Be an expert communicator. Nothing shows determination to find a mutually satisfactory resolution to conflict more than applying excellent communication skills. Ask questions, listen, rephrase what you heard to check for understanding, and take a genuine interest in the other side's concerns. Reduce tension through humor, let others vent their concerns, and acknowledge their views. Focus less on your position and more on ways in which you can move toward a resolution or compromise.

11) End on a good note. Make an all-win proposal and check to make sure that everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have won. Shake on it and agree on the action steps: who is responsible for each step, how success will be measured, and how and when the decision will be evaluated. Be open to accepting an impasse for noncritical issues; agree to disagree.

12) Enjoy the process. Look at the benefits of learning other people's point of view. People report that after overcoming conflict and reaching an agreement, the relationship grew even stronger. Reflect and learn from each negotiation. Determine the criteria to evaluate the process and the solution.

Alex Zaborenko
Managing Partner
Dale Carnegie Trainnig of Colorado & Southern Wyoming

Managing Customer Expectations

It is important to manage expectations from the first moment of interaction with a customer. To do so effectively, utilize the following process.

1. Set Expectations

Cushion with empathy. A cushion is a verbal statement that tells the customer in various ways that "I hear what you are saying, and what you are saying is important." Being empathetic simply acknowledges your customer's emotion and experience.

Understand the priorities. Ask questions of the customer to ensure that you understand their priority needs. For example, a customer may need to have their new payroll system set up by the start of their fiscal year or a company may need to have their phone system installed in the next thirty days.

Ask the customer for their expectations. Often their expectations may be more reasonable than you anticipate, and it may be quite easy to satisfy and resolve the situation.

Use headlining. Headlining is explaining your "train of thought" to the customer -- telling a customer what you are going to do before you do it. For example, you may say, "First, I will ask questions so that I understand exactly what is needed. Then, I will place the order. I will give you a realistic estimate of delivery time. I will call you immediately when it comes in."

Under-promise and over-perform. This guideline simply reminds you to set expectations with your customer at a reasonable level, but at a level that allows you to consistently exceed their expectations.

Check for agreement. After explaining an expectation or headlining a process, check with the customer for agreement. For example, "How does that time frame sound to you?" or "Will that process work for you?"

Policies and procedures. Policies and procedures are in place to protect you. When it comes to invoking a policy, it is not so much what you say as how you say it. Company policy rarely makes customers happy, so try to use policy as a last resort.

2. Monitor Expectations

Unless the situation is resolved immediately on first contact, your goal should be to have regular and appropriate communication with the customer. Continue to use the process to set expectations.

During an open situation, if the customer contacts you, that contact effort should be acknowledged within the guidelines set by the organization. Typical guidelines for most companies are to respond within one to twenty-four hours of the customer calling or sending a message. The reply should match the customer comment, response, or statement, and it should utilize the same process you used to set expectations initially.

Examples of monitoring the process:

• Acknowledge any information that the customer provides.
• Indicate where your organization is in resolving the situation and explain the next steps in the process. To gain trust, include an expectation of when they can expect the next communication.
• Respond to a customer request to talk to a manager or transfer the situation to a product expert. Respond by headlining the process for the appropriate action and setting an expectation for the next communication. For example, "Your issue will be turned over to our service technician. She will call you by the end of the day."
• Respond to requests for additional information. Respond by relating when you or one of your co-workers can follow up on that requested action. Then follow-through and follow up!

3. Influence Expectations

Influencing expectations is usually the meaning of "managing expectations." When you influence, you are the one who modifies or changes your approach and style. People are influenced by:

People who they trust. Trust is earned. You must follow up on what you hear to gain trust.

Education. The more you educate your customers, the more they understand the complexity of the situation and can align their expectations more accurately. For example, you may propose a higher quality solution that will take longer, but if you educate the customer about why it is a higher quality solution, that customer can better understand the solution and they will not have unrealistic expectations.

Situations where they can save face. Most people will not change their minds and have difficulty admitting their lack of knowledge in public. Allow them to easily move beyond a difficult situation without additional embarrassment.